Sunshine After the Storm

*Sheepishly peeks*

It’s almost the end of November and I haven’t written a single entry. Maybe it’s because I was/am enslaved by academics and extra curricular activities that I can only comb my hair twice a day. Not that I don’t really care about my packaging but honestly, I don’t really need to impress anyone at the moment and spend my time combing my untamable mane.

Concerning the past three weeks, nothing major really happened in my life. Mid term test did occur and other academic stuff like quizzes and home works occupied most of my time but exciting isn’t the right word to describe such activities (though they say that I seem to enjoy nerd stuff).

Ah, I almost forgot! Well, I also participated in laying-out the Ang Paglalayag which is quite thrilling activity though my favorite part is staying late at the publication office with some peers and just do stuff. It has been quite a while since I seriously attended to my job as the managing ed. of the Ang Paglalayag. I really miss writing away my thoughts like this. But…I do miss singing too.

Of course, I can’t cut my self into two and attend both the Coro San Antonio and the Sapientia et Virtus/Ang Paglalayag training and meeting sessions. If I could, then I should have done it a long time ago. I just hate it when people ask me why I am not somewhere I was “supposed” to be. For now, I’m happy with both organizations because I am able to channel my talents not because I want to please someone. My shortcomings do not justify my entire being.

Enough of the drama and stuff, it’s time to have fun!

Heart-warming it is to help other people especially when you can feel and see that they appreciate what you are doing for them.

I felt this simple fulfillment when I joined the GABAY Immersion program today which was sponsored by my school. My classmates and I were able to interact with 35 children in need of education and care. Though I’m not that good with children, I got along fine with my tutees for the day. I just feel so sad for them because as children, it was not really their choice to be slumped into such difficult state. On the other hand, I appreciate how blessed I am for being able to live in a more comfortable manner. I hope that more able people will be aware of what is happening outside their selfish shells.

I guess I got carried away for this entry to get this long. Making up for the lost opportunity I suppose.

May God bless us all!

Wanted: Plain and Simple

I love you.

Those three little words. So easy to say, so complicated to fulfill.

We often say I love you when we really meant I like you. Lovers just say I love you amidst a quarrel when they ought to say I’m sorry. Struggling married couples thought that by just simply saying I love you once more will make every troubles go away.

The depth of words is so powerful that these should not be mistaken as some tool in order to save one’s self from sticky situations that he has put upon himself. Feeling is necessary to truly extend one’s message. Irresponsibly uttering words like I love you for different reasons does not make things easier but the other way around. Because the words that we speak diverge from what we really mean, everyone involved gets confused and leads us to no progress.

Such dilemma is the reason why I hate rhetorically inclined people and the frivolous words they wear on their sleeves. They dress up reality with such beautiful yet deceitful words, confusing people deprived of experience and critic. I sincerely believe that words are fascinating gifts given to humans for the better understanding and development of his own race.

When such blessings are abused, the price is difficult to pay. It has been only after paying for such upshot that I learned an important lesson in life – ‘Wag mo ng sabihin kung di mo ibig sabihin. Don’t say it when you don’t really mean it.

Tales Longed to be Told

Time flies fast when you are having fun.

I did not realize how long it has been since I last dropped by. See, I finally formulated an alternate for ‘since I last updated’. Kudos for me!

Apparently, September became an über eventful month. Experiences ranging the transformation from a regular student taking his final tests to a chorale singer to a campus journalist and back to being a regular student once more occurred in 30 days. It’s like being a caterpillar undergoing a metamorphosis in order to fly and become a beautiful butterfly. LOL! If only…

Of course, I want to congratulate the CORO SAN ANTONIO! After all the drama of everyday practices, it is indeed a fulfillment, being able to pull off the best we can for the MUSIKAPELLA 2007 and thankfully, with God’s intervention, we even managed to become the 1st Runner Up of the said event. Some of you might think ‘Duh, it’s only 1st runner up…why are you so happy about it?’ and I respect that perspective. Though I must say, the practices were quite rough and we even encountered conflicts that really tested the strength of our team spirit. Enough of the reminiscent of the difficulties…at least everything ended well, right? Before mentioning other stuff, I would like to express my thanks to all those who supported our group from the beginning ‘til the end. Big or small, material or not, you help really boosted our spirits to lift up our voices and sing! Arigato Gozaimasu, minna-san!

How can I forget my first love? After singing the OPM love songs Minsan Lang Kitang Iibigin and Kahit Ika’y Panaginip Lang for Musikapella, I changed my costume once more and don my Sapientia et Virtus/Ang Paglalayag (SEV/AP) character along with my trusty pen and paper.

It has been, like, a tradition, for the members of the SEV/AP to participate in the yearly Liyab Journalism Fellowship sponsored by The Torch Publication of the Philippine Normal University. And this year, I was like given no choice if I were to go or not to the said event because for one, I consider the expense of the said two-day affair since I still have and want to participate in the upcoming Secondary Schools’ Division Press Conference to be held at the Quezon City Science High School which will also cost me some kachings. Earlier, I mentioned about the Musikapella and the preparation for the said event cost me a week’s absence from class. I worry that I might not be able to fulfill my responsibilities as a student if I acquire a week more of absence from my classes. Anyway, I still jumped into the unknown waters and found myself in the said event. I’m just happy that even though things in that said event didn’t really go according to the wants of the others, I am sure that God has a better plan for all of us. I’m so thankful that during the time of hopelessness, He is always there to come and save the day. He’s a real hero!

Oh, I forgot to mention that last September 23, 2007, I took the University of Santo Tomas Entrance Test. But thankfully, it was not as difficult compared to UPCAT and ACET. Thank God!

As for the teacher who really likes to make a hell out of my life, I figured that there's nothing I can do about his power trips. I just have to get used to it and go with his whims. Anyway, I won't benefit from crying over spilled milk.

Enough whining! Start Smiling!

‘til my next sensible entry!

Love you!

Triumphs and Lovelessnes

When all hope is lost, Someone will come and save the day…I now believe.

After going through a hell of a week, I didn’t expect that yesterday, Friday, would serve to be one of the best days of my life. Words could not express how glad I am. I believe that He guided us all the way and I’m very thankful. Congratulations Seniors 2007 – 2008! Way to go Sapientia et Virtus/Ang Paglalayag Staff! I’m not going to write down all the details here, I just want to extend my happiness to you. So unlike me, ne?


Reopened scars. I actually feel it right now. I don’t know but after I watched the anime LOVELESS, emotions I thought were gone suddenly stirred within me. Maybe it was just because I somehow can relate to the emotions expressed throughout the episodes but hey, isn’t it that this is supposed to go away after a night or so? Things are so insane right now and I can’t really think straight. It is a bit too much and I really need to get a grip of my self. For years of being an anime and manga addict ranging from horror to comedy, this is actually the first time I’ve been hit hard by a series. Anyway, I learned a really important lesson from Loveless and I guess I should live by it.

Mushiness aside, I’m really looking forward to going to the 28th Manila International Book Fair at the World Trade Center. I wanna go! I wanna go! I’m sorry for being so disoriented.

'Til my next entry!

Damaged Perfection

When I stepped inside our house, half of my kawaii outfit for today is dripping wet, my right-sided bun is disheveled, my blue bag looks watery. In short, I got soaked.

Corny…

Setting that aside, I’m so happy today!

Though I went to my review class this morning, afterwards, I got the chance to do one of my favorite hobbies – strolling.

(What?! Strolling?! Is that even a hobby?!) Well, I’m sorry for having this kind of inclination! (JOKE!)

You see, I can feel serenity overflowing me when ever I go to a populated place and do nothing aside from walking or sitting on a comfortable spot while watching people go about their thing or sometimes, read a book. Before, when I’m not that busy, I used to go to probably the mall or the nearby park and take a stroll every Saturday, taking it like some sort of freedom from all the engagements and worries that I have. I don’t know but I love doing this. Alone or not, it feels great especially now that I haven’t done this for like 3 months.

I’M GREAT!

Well, not totally… someone’s been at my throat for quite sometime already. You know the feeling that you are trying to be respectable and natural and all but a certain person makes you feel so wrong and worthless. I’m not having an emotional misfit here but the thing is, the person I’m talking about is one of my teachers. Yeah… talk about feeling so inferior. Whenever I speak in his class, I don’t know if he’s intentionally making me feel that I’m wrong when he’s just asking for an opinion. (There, I gave it away.) I admit that I’m not really that good in his subject but it doesn’t mean that he has to belittle me. For years, all that I have right now is all because of hard work and now, I can’t believe that he’s doing this to me. Is he challenging me or he just hates me? All the intellectual confidence I have seemed to vamoose whenever he’s in the room. He doesn’t even try to be nice. I hate power trips. I want to talk to him about this but I’m having second thoughts. Hello, he’s like my teacher and half of my Senior year depends on the numbers he’s gonna write on my report card. I fear that he’s not even open-minded about this kind of stuff. What a pain…

So many circumstances, so little time. Illogical teacher, upcoming tests, emotional friends, insensitive classmates, approaching competitions, nosy mother, unstable emotions, restless mind, name it. I need a break. Cut me some slack please… so far, my life’s a bit complicated.

Well, the rain has stopped and I’m dried now. I’m in desperate need of sleep so I got to zoom to my bed. You take a rest too. How can a perfect day feel so imperfect?

Sigh…

Pray for me. Love you!