Yet Another Syndrome

Perhaps procrastination is a necessary evil that paves my way towards concentration in order to eventually study for an upcoming exam. And after you read that sentence, I'm sure you thought "Oh, you're procrastinating...again?" or somewhere along those line.

Yep, you guessed that right.

I am supposed to be studying for my Health Informatics midterm exam. :|

*hands you a cookie (pun intended? LOL)*

While I have recently learned that procrastination is one of the symptoms for Passive Aggression, this will not be a sharing about mental diseases. I heard that sigh of relief... or was that disappointment? :))

ANYWAY.

Briefly, I just want to share my current LSS, short for Last Song Syndrome. And this time, it's the song Be as One by the J-pop boy group (band?) w-inds. -- stylized 'winds' and is pronounced in Japanese as 'uwinzu'.

Forgive me if its a Japanese song. It's such a nice song with good melody AND lyrics. Heck, I can even say that this is one of those songs that even if you don't understand any of the words, you'll feel the meaning. I could have included a translation of the song but you know, I'm in procrastination mode so... hehe, you get what I mean. :D

But if you're open to trying out what I mean, I embedded the video from Youtube for your watching/listening convenience. After hearing it, tell me what you think. :D

P.S. Wish that procrastination will leave my side. ASAP :(

勉強しなくちゃいけない！

Love,

me.

love the way you lie

It has been a hobby of mine to browse through youtube and "discover" new songs, new sounds, new music.

Last night, I came across this new single from Eminem and Rihanna called "Love the Way You Lie". I always admired Eminem's fearless self-expression (though I'm not really enthusiastic about his excessive usage of swearwords) while I salute her as how she came back stronger after the incident with Chris Brown.

To be honest, I did not finish the entire song. I stopped listening after around 40 seconds. Ideally, I wanted to finish a song so that I can judge whether I like it or not. But I stopped listening. Not because I already determined that like/hate the song but because I got so stuck on Eminem's first two lines.

I can't tell you what it really is
I can only tell you what it feels like

Those lines really hit the bull's eye.

Recently, my close friends who knew about my latest matters of the heart would ask me where are am I now in terms of my feelings. I really find it difficult to answer such question. They expect me to give out a universally known term or explanation. But I don't know how I will enclose my emotions into familiar words that either don't seem enough or seem too serious to describe what's in my heart.

This sort of things make me wish that I could easily create words that will fit exactly. That way, misunderstandings won't happen. Words are just too powerful. Once you wrote or said them, it will be difficult to take them back. You can either hurt or make someone happy by just uttering a single word.

So for now, maybe I'll stay quiet. That way, I won't be accused of lying if by any chance I'm not entirely sure of how I feel.

He should have done the same. Maybe I won't be in this maze if he did.

terrifying future

As I closed a chapter in my life, it is inevitable that I start a new one as I continue breathing and my heart continues beating.

I look forward to what lies ahead in the future but at the same time, I can't help but feel scared, terrified, of the uncertainties presented by the unknown. It was just recently that I successfully pulled myself and my heart together again. Obviously, I don't want to get lost nor heartbroken all over again.

Yet what will be the point of living if I don't even bother risk everything?

I want to continue and be brave for whatever, whoever, comes. As of now, I'm still uncertain if I am already at that optimum point but as a first step towards that goal, I acknowledge the fact that I'm actually scared.

Recently, I find inspiration in the song "Terrified" written by Kara DioGuardi. I first heard this over at YouTube.com sang by Didi Benami for American Idol. It was hypnotic. Warms my heart. :)

"You by the light is the greatest find. In a world full of wrong, you're the thing that's right. Finally made it through the lonely, to the other side. You set it again, my heart's in motion. Every word feels like a shooting star. I'm at the edge of my emotions... and I'm in love. And I'm terrified for the first time and the last time in my only life.

...And nothing's worse than knowing your holding back. I could be all that you need if you let me try... I only said it 'cause I mean it... 'Cause it's true... 'Cause it keeps me up and holds me close whenever I'm without you."

Hopefully, we all find courage this summer season. ;)

Our Song (as of now)

With our current situation, this is our song...

SO CLOSE

by Jon McLaughlin

You’re in my arms

And all the world is calm

The music playing on for only two

So close together

And when I’m with you

So close to feeling alive

A life goes by

Romantic dreams will stop

So I bid mine goodbye and never knew

So close was waiting, waiting here with you

And now forever I know

All that I wanted to hold you

So close

So close to reaching that famous happy end

Almost believing this was not pretend

And now you’re beside me and look how far we’ve come

So far we are so close

How could I face the faceless days

If I should lose you now?

We’re so close

To reaching that famous happy end

And almost believing this was not pretend

Let’s go on dreaming for we know we are

So close

So close

And still so far