Friday, April 30, 2010
terrifying future
I look forward to what lies ahead in the future but at the same time, I can't help but feel scared, terrified, of the uncertainties presented by the unknown. It was just recently that I successfully pulled myself and my heart together again. Obviously, I don't want to get lost nor heartbroken all over again.
Yet what will be the point of living if I don't even bother risk everything?
I want to continue and be brave for whatever, whoever, comes. As of now, I'm still uncertain if I am already at that optimum point but as a first step towards that goal, I acknowledge the fact that I'm actually scared.
Recently, I find inspiration in the song "Terrified" written by Kara DioGuardi. I first heard this over at YouTube.com sang by Didi Benami for American Idol. It was hypnotic. Warms my heart. :)
"You by the light is the greatest find. In a world full of wrong, you're the thing that's right. Finally made it through the lonely, to the other side. You set it again, my heart's in motion. Every word feels like a shooting star. I'm at the edge of my emotions... and I'm in love. And I'm terrified for the first time and the last time in my only life.
...And nothing's worse than knowing your holding back. I could be all that you need if you let me try... I only said it 'cause I mean it... 'Cause it's true... 'Cause it keeps me up and holds me close whenever I'm without you."
Hopefully, we all find courage this summer season. ;)
Friday, March 12, 2010
First Rain Fall
And then, it just rained recently, washing away all the heat of summer. It was a bit eerie yet the rain fall made me happy.
Much as I love the summer season, the sudden rainfall was refreshing.
I really love the smell and atmosphere brought about by rain falls.
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This is gonna be the first official entry of the year. It is just now that I felt the energy back into my heart. Finally, I got rid of all the drama from last year that desperately clung unto me for the past two months. Aren't you happy for me??? :D
Let's get this party started!
Summer season is up!
Monday, April 06, 2009
S-U-M-M-E-R is a Three-letter Word
After a roller coaster of a year (which ended with a Math20.3a Final Exam), what is there better to do than commence the summer season with the XX2 ULTIMATE SUMMER OUTING?!
March 27, 2009
Who even remembered the Math 20.3a finals after it was done? After packing all the necessities for a four-day and four-nights stay off Manila’s glitz and glamour, eleven of XX2 people hit the road to Calaca, Batangas.
Before the noon, everyone scrambled, donned our swim gears and hit the cool pool! Though the beach is just nearby, we opt for the pool for the day since it was high tide, making the shore seem non-existent. Despite our watery pool fun, Nikki had to leave for Laguna by high noon so before she left, we took lotsa pictures with Kiel’s dSLR. We had fun with you Nikki! The ten of us continued pool fun for six hours before we decided to step out of the water for pasta dinner care of Jules, Kiel and Yves.
Crab and Corn Soup
Fresh Melon Juice
With a bonfire present, marshmallows and hotdogs sure made their appearances. We talked and stargazed until we all felt the need to sleep as we are soon to head back to Manila.
March 30, 2009
As soon as we woke up, everyone was on adrenaline rush for we were running late for our slated departure time. Added to that were the tons of dishes needed to be washed from last night’s feast, personal things to pack, furniture to tidy-up and breakfast to cook. Fortunately, we were all moving to accomplish things faster. By the time our ride home arrived, we were all set to go. We said or thanks and goodbye to Kuya, the caretaker, and headed out of Whispering Waves Beach House of Calaca, Batangas.
Any fun-loving soul would appreciate a little detour especially when the destination is Zipline at Tagaytay Highlands. A super daring yet cool experience! Try it when you are in Tagaytay and feel what it is like to almost fly!
Saturday, May 31, 2008
Season Finale
When summer was supposed to end, I found myself going gaga here and there just to be able to attend all the up and coming rendezvous with my family, chill-out moments with my high school friends and weird, spur-of-the-moment gimmicks with random acquaintances.
To tell the truth, this summer is the worst I had in my sixteen years of existence. Heck, I spent most of my time at home due to the unstable weather condition. It’s summer yet it always rains hard to the point that I feel like having a jet lag. My body is conditioned that this season is supposed to be hot and activity-filled but really, it’s raining. All I did was read (not that I mind doing so) but my life already lacks thrill. A rainy summer just made me sad. Much as I love the rain, I’m so not ready for it this time. So much for my happy summer before hitting university life…
Though I really sound pessimistic right now, I’ve had my share of exciting and fun-filled moments. Are you ready?

You guys know that I was an active member of the high school choir and recently, we scheduled this mini get-together. I felt so thrilled because after two months, we all finally got to see each other. Although I didn’t get to see everyone, the feeling of just going back to the music room is enough. I just hope that I’d be able to have the chance to enjoy their company once again especially now that school is about to begin. I’ll really miss Coro.
You bet that I’m sure going to miss my closest high school friends especially that we are now headed to different paths in life. And so before that fated moment, it’s totally great that we managed to meet up and use up the time to make memories and have fun together. Though this sounds cheerless, I’m not really feeling sad ‘coz we did so many happy things. We caught up with each other’s happenings, we ate together, had a group pic, went to the arcade center (though all I did was laugh, watch and cheer), watched the movie 21 while occasionally making noise inside the theater, chatted some more, gawked at Ray’s house, played a round of Uno Stack-o, went crazy while singing at the videoke, ate popcorns and turon with Coke Zero, had a videoke battle wherein we, girls, lost (those guys…we should hold a rematch) and just took in the moments. Yep, I’ll be missing you guys. You know who you are.
After my little adventures this summer, the sun finally radiated the heat it is supposed to let out the whole summer. Too bad, summer season is ending. Well, better be late than never. Recently, I heard this Vanessa Carlton song entitled “White Houses”. It is so fitting. Here it goes…
The summer's all in bloom
The summer is ending soon
It's alright and it's nice not to be so alone
But I hold on to your secrets in white houses
The final verdict: I’m happy.
Sweetness,
Allyne
Friday, May 16, 2008
Washing Regrets Away
I’m a self-professed rainy season lover but it feels like having a jet lag. The fact that the climate shift is occurring has so much effect on me that during the first May 2008 downpour, I got a pencil and a piece of paper and just scribbled how I feel. It was very dim but I didn’t mind. I didn’t bother looking at what I was writing for it would defeat the purpose. I just want to know how I feel. And your happiest moment can also give you your most depressing one.
May 11, 2008
Today is very rainy. I usually feel happy when it is raining for I really love the water and the cool breeze it brings. But today, it is different. The moment the thunder rumbled, I fell onto my pillow and felt sleepy as if I had no energy at all. And then, I just felt sad. The gloomy atmosphere surrounded me and just like that, I remembered a painful memory that I wanted to forget.
It has been 5 years since I first met a person who once became very important in my life. It was also raining like this day when I first met him. Yes, he is a guy. The first guy who I can probably say, appreciated my being. I did not expect him to become special to me since we only knew each other in a civil manner. Maybe it was just part of my growth that we crossed paths in a personal degree. It cannot be coincidence for God doesn’t play dice. I was happy with him though he is far from my ideal. I liked him. He was a friend, brother and a special person. He taught me things I might not be able to discover by my self back then for naivety was still a close companion of mine. Eight months passed by. We had our share of happy moments, disagreements and some other special moments.
I was not being emo, just nostalgic in a sense that I have a small regret. Though the rain that day made me really sadder than as I was (read Absently Celebrating Mothers’ Day), I still feel grateful of being reminded that we only get one shot in life. We must live each day to the fullest, making it sure that we have no regrets for the most tormenting feeling is that of wondering what could have been. To deny one’s self of experiencing the rainbow of feelings is tantamount to suicide minus the blood. We’ll only know happiness if we’ve felt how it is to feel down. Same goes with the idea that we feel the joys of love is because we had the thorns of it. To live is to feel.
No regrets.
Wednesday, April 11, 2007
Hello Sunshine!
Finally, I can stretch and move around more freely after all the weeks of restrictions, commitments and scholastic stuff. I want to do loads of activities for this summer but I know I’ve got to set up my priorities so that I’ll have a set of accomplishments before the season ends, right? Haha. No wonder I already have things in mind that I would like to share with you though you might find some of them to be so-not-cool! :)
- Get refreshed with all my past lessons in order to pass all the colleges and universities
that I wanted to get into after high school.
- Overcome my not-so-good mannerisms like nail biting and frequent day dreaming
- Have enough sleep for the rest of the season
- Meet new people!
- Continue teaching Tagalog to some interested Westerners
- Do an emotional check and be more nice to people
- Lose some weight! This is a step to a healthier lifestyle!
- Do some charity works.
- Be more trusting to people who already asked for my forgiveness and I’ve already
forgiven. They should have earned it by now, right?
- Be more outspoken
- Read more novels for some amusement
- Hit the beach (or pool) at least twice
- And lastly (at least for now), express to connect! People won’t understand me if I won’t
myself be understood right?
I don’t really know what’s really gonna happen for the rest of my summer break but so far, so good. I mean, we all want to do a lot of things in our lives especially when we have some time to spare but when certain circumstances occur then, it’s up to us on how we’re gonna act to it. For now, I just want to perfectly fill up my application form for the University of the Philippines and maybe everything will follow afterwards.
I’ll keep you updated!
‘Til my next entry!