simply tired.

I'm tired.

My body.

My mind.

my HEART.

The First Lines After a Year

April 2, 2009 was a sad, sad day.

For sometime, one person was the object of my affections. I tried to deny my feelings for I know he has eyes for another. But after a while, my heart started to feel so much pain and cried so hard because I know that I'll always be the girl friend and not the girlfriend.

It was difficult. So I scribbled out lines without much thought.

(I typed the succeeding lines in accordance to how I wrote them on the white sheet of paper)

The first lines After A year

I want to hold you tight

When no one else might

With the burden you carry

I don't want you to be sorry

For letting me catch you

Because I will always do.

I want to kiss you lightly

To lend you sweetness even slightly

Might you be thinking of another

At least I know I'm your shelter

Through all the silence of your fears

I'll never leave for I always hear

Your heart's beating as if

It's mine like a gift.

I want you to be happy

By painting a smile even if it's sappy

For you always make my day

With everything you say

May it be about her

At least we relieved it together.

Even though I hurt so much

As long as it is a moment with you

I'll always live through.

I want to love you forever

The way you unknowingly love her

For even if you say you don't

Your eyes say that it's all you want.

My heart cries just by such idea

'Coz I want to be the one with you.

If you would turn around

I'm sure you'll see me bound

To you like water is to life

So I won't give you up without a fight.

But should I fight if there's no

Certain way to go

Towards the road leading to your heart?

I am not sure where to start.

- IaMarie

April 2, 2009

I never intended to write so much about you, my new-found star, but I just couldn't help it. Instead of crying, I just let the words flow in case you want to know.

I think I like you more than I think I do.

---

I do not hurt so much compared to before. But I was reminded of how difficult and painful it was when I found the crumpled sheet of paper with those words.

Now I'm sad.

This one's for you. You should know who you are.

We both know how I feel. You just chose to ignore it.

I've been so good at hiding it now so maybe you think that it's done.

You thought wrong.

I'm sorry. You trusted me so much.

But know this. I did not lie to you.

Don't worry, I'll get over you. Hopefully soon.

So that you won't have to be burdened so much of my affections.

We are still friends, right?

Before I Hit the Books

If I am to describe the previous semester, I am definitely choosing ‘crazy’.

What started with the A(H1N1) plague ended tragically with the Ondoy-Pepeng typhoon tandem lashing. Add to the equation the other personal messes I got caught up. Simply, my sanity (even my heart) undertook a rollercoaster ride. I can’t deny the fact that I felt really tired in the duration of the semester. You can even take the scarcity of entries as another sign of how crazy things were.

But the semestral break has come, I gratefully dispatched all the weariness and stress I accumulated from the past four months and welcomed the vacation with a huge hug! I do hope you guys did so too.

Tomorrow, I’ll be going back to school with a more intense workload and crazy schedule. I’m really excited! Crazy, I know. But that’s the result of a happy and eventful vacation! :D

The first day of my sembreak, October 16, 2009, was uneventful… really. That was until my mom told me that she booked us a flight to Kalibo. Not really exciting then, she continued saying that we’ll head to Boracay upon landing. Now that’s sweet~!

Actually, I was just tagged along by mom upon my dad’s suggestion (yay, thanks daddy!). She attended this nurses’ convention to be held in Bora. But before that, we actually did the more fun activities. We toured Boracay island by boat, did snorkeling (I saw lotsa fishies! So colorful!), had a spin on the banana boat (I sat in front – felt like a rodeo on the sea :D) and had lunch by the beach.

For the succeeding days of the seminar, I was left to my own devices and what’s a good girl gonna do? WANDER! I walked the entire long beach, looked around, bought pasalubongs and simply enjoyed. It was cool walking on the sand all the way since it was white and really finely grained. On my way back, I walked near the water. It was really relaxing since the weather was not really hot and the water was not too warm. Too bad my mom borrowed the digi cam for her convention so I wasn’t able to take pics during my alone time wandering. I wanted to get my hair braided but I pushed the thought away… my curly hair might get curlier :|

After three days in Bora, we headed to Aklan, specifically Caticlan then Kalibo. In Kalibo we visited this reso

rt called Sampaguita Gardens and it was really nice and cute. They have this shop dedicated to everything Precious Moments. There a lots of cute dolls and other cutesy stuff. My mom and I could not resist

cuteness that much so we gave in to the temptation. We bought this adorable doll looking like a native participant of the Ati-Atihan and the other one was a cute ballerina doll. There were lotsa other cute dolls but I don’t think we’d be able to bring them back properly. There are other cool places inside but my favorite is the Precious Moments store… no wonder really. Oh, and I saw the owner of the Precious Moments foundation there, in the flesh :D He was there.

Kalikasan Nature Detachment which is actually a forest with a path leading to underground waterfalls. It’s so amazing! In fact, while trekking down towards the waterfalls, I felt like I was in an Indiana Jones film. The forest is sooo cool! But before I got to enjoy that part of nature, I first had an intense dose of adrenaline from what the Army men call Slide for Life.

If you have experienced Zipline in Tagaytay and got really scared, Slide for Life will definitely make you run for your life! Slide for Life is a commando-style version of Zipline. Suspended 100 feet off the ground, wearing one set of waist harness, your hands grabbing on to the ropes above your head for dear life as you slide high speed… I swear I thought my heart stopped. But it was really worth it! The guys should really try this if ever they get the chance. WOOHOO!

After the adrenaline-filled morning, later that afternoon we were able to get to visit the Sta. Barbara Church in Ilaya, Capiz. The said church houses the largest bell in Asia. The church was built during the Spanish era so imagine how old that bell is. We climbed up the bell tower and the steps were really steep so if you have acrophobia, I suggest that you go there with a couple of friends to help you if you really wanna see that cool bell!

On our way back from the church, my mom and I bought lots of dried food stuff which were popularly made in Roxas as pasalubong to the peeps back in Manila. We still went back to Camp Peralta but it was really late and our flight back to Manila was really early so I was really beat.

Back in Manila around 8:00 am last October 21, I was kinda groggy-looking but I felt really great. I feel relaxed, energized and real happy! I kinda missed the city too though. :D

After my week-long vacay over Visayas, I became more than ready to cheer for my sister in the 27^th foundation celebration of SSA. I missed those practices and dancing every October back in high school. But hey, it was also fun to be the one watching. ;D

As for the rest of the vacation…let’s just say I had more fun :D

I’m gonna go grab some sleep coz tomorrow, it’s gonna be war all over. Toodles!

Last Wave

August proved to be memorable to me. 3 straight weeks with no more than 4 hours of sleep, group report after group report, several midterms and long exams on the same day, short papers due, volunteer work for the organization and a bit more other stuff.

Man, I'm really exhausted. Then again, on it's last week, I'm going all-out and battle all those long exams so that the rest afterward would feel so worth it. This is not really a proper post. I just want to keep you guys updated -- I'm still alive! And to my fellow estudyantes, I hope you guys are also doing your best for the midterms. Go school! :D

Expect better accounts on the following month!

We can do this guys!

Gratitude

It has been almost a week since the Former President Corazon Aquino passed away. Even up to now, I can still feel the nation's grief.

Personally, I could not say that I do fully undestand the sadness the occasion has brought to our country. I wasn't born yet during the Marcos regime nor did I experience and participate in the 1986 Edsa Revolution. However, I know enough to feel gratitude towards the late Lady President.

With this entry, I say my most sincere Thank You, Madame Corazon Aquino.

Thank you for sharing your life to the Filipino nation.

the Get to Know Yourself Better quiz

While taking a break from completing my Chemistry pre-laboratory report, I stumbled upon this short quiz entitled Get to Know Yourself Better. It was imaginative but I'm not really sure about the results. I pasted them below.

Your view on yourself:
You are intelligent, honest and sweet. You are friendly to everybody and don't like conflict. Because you're so cheerful and fun people are naturally attracted to you and like to talk to you.
-> I like being happy but I'm not sure about the naturally attracted part.

The type of girlfriend/boyfriend you are looking for:
You are a true romantic. When you are in love, you will do anything and everything to keep your love true.
-> Hands down. TRUE.

Your readiness to commit to a relationship:
You are ready to commit as soon as you meet the right person. And you believe you will pretty much know as soon as you might that person.
-> This I'm not sure. Commitment is a VERY big thing.

The seriousness of your love:
Your have very sensible tactics when approaching the opposite sex. In many ways people find your straightforwardness attractive, so you will find yourself with plenty of dates.
-> Straight forward? Plently dates? How I wish! LOL

Your views on education:
You may not like to study but you have many practical ideas. You listen to your own instincts and tend to follow your heart, so you will probably end up with an unusual job.
-> But I like what I am doing right now.

The right job for you:
You have plenty of dream jobs but have little chance of doing any of them if you don't focus on something in particular. You need to choose something and go for it to be happy and achieve success.
-> Everything we do needs one's focus in order to succeed.

How do you view success:
You are afraid of failure and scared to have a go at the career you would like to have in case you don't succeed. Don't give up when you haven't yet even started! Be courageous.
-> I guess that's true. I still have a long way to go.

What are you most afraid of:
You are afraid of things that you cannot control. Sometimes you show your anger to cover up how you feel.
-> I'm not sure about the anger part.

Who is your true self:
You are mature, reasonable, honest and give good advice. People ask for your comments on all sorts of different issues. Sometimes you might find yourself in a dilemma when trapped with a problem, which your heart rather than your head needs to solve.
-> It would be nice if I'm really like this.

~0~

So, what do you think?

Detachment of the Digital Baby

I just experienced a total disarray in my life -- the loss of Internet connection.

I lived the previous two weeks feeling much like a primitive in the modern era. I can't open my Yahoo! e-mail account, get music updates from imeem, browse through my friends' blogs, read up on the latest news, chat with my friends over meebo and read free manga scans at onemanga.com.

I simply missed out a lot of opportunities to complete my usual routine.

I have to admit that I'm quite ritualistic. I like doing things in order. Not that I'm OC or something but, such order gives me a better view of the things that I had accomplished so far. And part of my long-time everyday ritual is a date with my computer and the Internet. By removing the Internet from my life in a span of more than a week created a few knots and some kinks here and there in my holistic function.

Though I was still able to go on with my life like going to school, eat three times a day, talk to friends, etc. it wasn't just the same. It felt like something's missing. And I think that's a bit scary because I might have been becoming too dependent on the comforts brought about by technology.

I must admit that living in the absence of Internet, though a bit uncomfortable (due to communication services it provides which are essential to my lifestyle like IM, RSS feeds and e-mail), was somewhat fun. The experience of going organic and free from the constraints of the gadgets -- it’s so old school and yet I quite liked it.

If I have the time and opportunity, I'd like to detach myself voluntarily from the digital world for a short while, not just from the Internet but technology in general. The experience made me feel much more alive. Hopefully, when I immerse myself in such unplugged lifestyle, I should have settled all my responsibilities that require the aid of modern-age technology.

I am a digital baby.

And we live in a digital age.

Yet it took me such a long time to realize that fact.

Presidential Election 2010

Are you aware that next year, the Presidential Election will be held and some politicians are already implicitly campaigning for it?

Do you want to read a piece of my mind on this?

Just drop by Piece of Perspective and go through Ready to Win: Politicians Get on a Head-on Battle of Ads.

And tell me what do YOU think.

Toddles!

Memories from Staircases

If you had been reading my blog since my high school days, you'll probably know what the term starfish signifies. And with what I am to share later in this entry, I feel that it is apt to look back and reminisce what I call the starfish affair.

High school sophomore year was a very eventful and significant year. If every year of my life would be a dynasty, I would call my sophomore year The Golden Age. I won't elaborate on how perfect everything seemed for me back then but rather, I'll zoom into one dimension of that so-called perfection -- starfish.

I met a guy who literally took my breath. The first time I met him, I appeared klutzy for mistaking his identity. Well, I got distracted by everything about him. He had this aura of mystery, confidence and intellect. His cute smile was just a compliment to his persona. Yes, I was definitely smitten. And if I am to be honest, I am more than smitten. And that made me feel really good throughout the year. Everytime I see him, it was enough to make me smile so wide.

I really fell so hard for him that I was very shattered when I heard that he's leaving. Because of that, I deliberated on whether I should tell him how I feel for him. Even if I knew that there's only 1% chance that he'll reciprocate, I just want to tell him my feelings just so he knows that he's special. It took me so long to decide.

I told him.

Guess what?

He politely told me that he appreciates how I feel for him and even said 'thank you'. But, he can't return those feelings due to a couple of reasons. I understand him. After an hour of talking, I thanked him for listening. I calmly walked away from him and when I reached the nearest corner, I dashed immediately.

My friends were waiting for me. When I reached them, I tried to smile but I just couldn't hide my true feelings. Right then and there, on the middle of the staircase, I cried my heart out.

It hurt that he rejected me.
I cried.
He thought I was just having a crush on him.
I cried.
He was leaving.
I cried.
I love him.
I cried.

For about two hours, I was just crying in the arms of my friends, regardless of the stares I got. He made me feel so many beautiful emotions. He made me feel good about myself. I did not cry so much just because he rejected me. I mourned for the fact that he was leaving. I was contented with admiring him from afar.

When I stopped crying, I realized how many friends I have. They were there -- worrying about me. If I had more tears to cry, I might have cried again. That very moment made me feel so loved. Might the love be platonic, my friends made me feel better because of their concern.

And all these things happened on a staircase.

I remembered this episode in my life just because I recently fell down the staircase. Yes, I had a terrible sprain due to a torn ligament but I'm now better for only a few more purple blotches remain on my foot's skin. I thank my friends for supporting me on this one too, especially XX2. Your patience with my slow pace during the previous weeks means a lot to me.

I am now healing. I am now healed.

I loved him.
And now, I smile.

I might be over him but I know that I'll always have a space for him in my heart...

That is until I find the man for me.

The Longest Day

Did you enjoy the longest day of the year?

In case you didn't know, the Earth experienced the yearly summer solstice today -- June 21.

Despite the fact that the "extension" of the day lasted for only a few seconds, the idea of having a longer day is indeed fascinating. The fast-paced generation definitely would love having such idea on their mind, thinking about the more things they could do and experience. We never seem to be satisfied and that's why we thrive on wanting to be better that we already are. And to be granted a few more seconds to achieve whatever we want for the day, it's simply priceless.

Time has always been scarce (economically-speaking). We want to maximize the littlest amount of time we have in order to get everything done.

But, I don't think that's the essence of the summer solstice.

We are always busy. We do and reap so much things. However, did we ever had time to stop and actually see and appreciate whatever we have? Maybe we do see them -- that's why we never stop aiming for something new. Appreciating, on the other hand, is a different matter. It's an act that calls for contentment (even for a short while) and give your self a pat. You have come so far with all your hardwork and determination. Use the few seconds granted by nature to give yourself some credit and take a break from the competitive mentality you always have.

Today marks the celebration of my existence. Nothing out-of-this-world occurred for I am still as busy and as crazy as ever but I thank God and nature for granting me a few extra seconds to actually see the beauty of the life I have. It's not perfect but it's the only one I have.

Summer solstice is supposed to be the start of the summer in western countries. As for me, I'll always be reminded of the energizing and blazing summer heat to bravely surge through the up and coming storms of another year. Hopefully, you'd feel the blaze too. :)

Bakit Single ka pa rin?

Note: I just got the following write-up from an e-mail sent from my organization. I found it real funny! READ ON :D

Destiny Addict
--> Ito 'yung mga taong hinihintay na gumawa ang tadhana ng paraan para pagtagpuin sila ng kanilang mga "soulmates" and whatever. Ayaw kumilos o kung ano pa dahil naniniwala siya na kung sino man 'yung talagang meant for him/her ay darating na lang bigla sa paraang maaaring hindi niya inaasahan--wow, parang Serendipity.
--> Laging maririnig na nagsasabing: "Dadating din 'yan. 'Wag kasing hanapin!"

Perfectionist
--> Simula nung magkamalay ang taong ito, nakalista na ang mga bagay na gusto niya sa kanyang magiging boypren/girlpren. Kapag may nakilala siya at nakitang madumi ang kuko, magkadikit ang kilay, may butas sa ngipin, o parang penguin maglakad, wala na. Turn off na 'yun para sa kanya.
--> Laging maririnig na nagsasabing: "Ok na sana siya e. Kaya lang gusto ko 'yung ganito..."

Busy Bee
--> Pasensya na sila pero masyado kang maraming inaasikaso tulad ng libro, bolpen, papel at calculator. Umaalis ka ng 6 am sa bahay at umuuwi ng 7 ng gabi 'pag weekdays. Pagdating mo sa bahay, gagawa lang ng homework at matutulog na. Masaya ka nang makanood ng TV 'pag Sabado (at gumawa ulit ng homework). Sapat na sa'yo ang kumain sa labas kasama ang pamilya 'pag Linggo (at gumawa pa rin ng homework).
-->Laging maririnig na nagsasabing: "Sorry. Wala akong time sa ganyan e."

Friend Forever version 1
--> Kunwari ka pa dyan. Alam mo namang gusto mo talaga 'yang best friend o special friend mo pero hindi mo lang sinasabi at pinapadama dahil ayaw mong masira ang pagkakaibigan niyong dalawa. 'Yung tipong 'pag may kasamang iba 'yung gusto mo, kunwari ka pang masaya ka para sa kanya pero sa totoo lang, gusto mo na malusaw na parang ice caps dahil sa Global Warming.
--> Laging maririnig na nagsasabing: "I'm so happy for you!" o "Sayang naman 'yung pinagsamahan namin e."

Friend Forever version 2
--> Wala tayong magagawa pero talagang malapit ka lang sa kabilang kasarian--pero bilang kaibigan lang. One-of-the-boys, ladies' man. Hindi ka naman homo o bi pero sadyang kaibigan lang ang tingin mo sa mga taong hindi mo kapareho ng chromosomes. Masaya ka nang nakaka-hang- out lang sila, nakakakwentuhan, niyayakap nang walang halong malisya.
-> Laging maririnig na nagsasabing: "May inuman ba mamaya?" (kung babae) o "Hatid ko ba kayo mamaya?" (kung lalaki)

Born to be One
--> Single-blessed ka at wala ka nang magagawa kung ganun. :) Nilikha ka siguro para maging mag-isa (pero syempre may pamilya at kaibigan ka naman, duh) hanggang tumanda ka na at ipadala sa Home for the Aged. Marami akong kakilalang mukhang ganito ang patutunguhan at hindi naman sila mga pangit o abnoy talaga. Minsan lang, masyado silang masungit.
--> Laging maririnig na nagsasabing: "Mag-isa ako."

Happy-go-lucky
--> 'Eto 'yung taong masaya na sa trip-trip lang at kung anu-anong mga happenings. Kahit sino na lang basta no strings attached. For fun lang at walang seryosohan please. Personally, ayoko nung mga ganito. Umaapaw lang siguro 'yung mga taong ganito sa L. Magbuhos ka nalang ng malamig na tubig sa iyong buong katawan at solb na 'yan.
--> Laging maririnig na nagsasabing: "I'm not ready to commit e, but I really like you."

Wrong Time
--> 'Eto naman 'yung mga laging idinadahilan na masyado pa silang bata o kaya masyado na silang matanda. May mga tao raw na ganyan, 'yung pakiramdam nila laging may tamang panahon para sa pag-ibig. Pero ang labo lang kasi tuwing may pagkakataon naman, lagi nilang naiisip na maling panahon pa iyon. Oo, wrong timing lagi ang pag-ibig para sa kanila kasi madalas sumasakto kung kelan meron silang board exams, problema sa pamilya, o long test kinabukasan.
--> Laging maririnig na nagsasabing: "We had the right love at the wrong time..."

Parent Trap
--> Ayaw ni mama o ni papa na magkaboypren/ girlpren ang kanilang unica hija/hijo kahit na 22 years old na ito at kumikita na ng sarili niyang pera. Kailangan daw magkaron ka muna ng isang strand ng puting buhok bago may makadalaw sa'yo sa bahay. O kaya, baka ikaw 'yung may problema dahil natatakot ka sa iisipin ng mga magulang mo tungkol sa taong iyong gusto. Baka kasi sabihin nila na masyado siyang bansot/ matangkad/ baboy/ payatot para sa'yo.
--> Laging maririnig na nagsasabing: "Baka kasi magalit si Papa."

Trauma
--> Dahil sa dami ng mga heartbreak na iyong nadama at emo songs na napakinggan mo na noon, sinumpa mo nang hindi ka magmamahal. Ayaw mo na. Sawa ka na sa paglalaslas ng pulso, este, sa paglalagay ng mga madramang stat message sa YM at pag-iyak ng balde-baldeng luha. Awwwww. >:D< Pwede rin namang masyado kang insecure sa sarili mo kaya hindi ka makapagmatapang na magventure into some love quest.
--> Laging maririnig na nagsasabing: "Pagod na pagod na akong masaktan!" *hikbi*

Your Ex-Lover Is (NOT) Dead
--> Yikeeee. Mahal pa rin niya ang kanyang ex at hindi siya maka-get-over the person. Boo. Pilit pa ring inaalala ang mga tawanan, iyakan, at PDA moments nilang dalawa kahit 'yung ex niya ay nakikipag-(insert verb here) na sa ibang babae/lalaki. Sasabihin mong nakapag-move on ka na pero pag nagkwentuhan tungkol sa pag-ibig, tandadadaaaaan! Siya na naman naiisip mo.
--> Laging maririnig na nagsasabing: "I'm over him/her..." *tapos iiyak bigla :))*

Ayaw
-> Dalawa na namang kaso ito. Una, ayaw mo lang talaga magka-"someone" . Hindi ko na pipilitin ungkatin 'yung dahilan pero may mga pagkakataon lang talaga na ayaw mo. Ikalawa naman, baka...ayaw kasi sa'yo nung gusto mo. And that's the shizzest thing ever! Pwedeng ayaw niya sa'yo dahil may girlpren/boypren siya, busy siya or whatever, o kaya ayaw ka lang niya talaga at wala ka nang magagawa kung ganun. :(
--> Laging maririnig na nagsasabing: "Ayoko pa magkaboypren/ girlpren e." o "Hindi naman niya ako gusto."

~o~

I think, Friend Forever Version 2 applies to me :))

How about you? That is, if you're still single. ;)

Do tell!

Hopeful.

Forget what you read from my previous entries. Fine, don't forget them but leave them be. Such predicaments are now organized within the shelf called 'past'. I'm so much better nowadays.

Thank you for all those who cared. :)

Moving Forwards.

Allyne

Ashes

Teardrops.
Heart aches.
Longings.



Gone.

I say farewell to you, my short-lived bittersweet dream
Your reality must beseparate from mine
Because no matter how I tried
You never became mine.

I'm letting you go, my dear heart
Broken, you have become once again
From caring too much,
Hoping for more than there is
Only to take back in return, none.

'Tis unfortunate what has come to us, love
Once burning feelings gone as wisps in the air
Like departed lovers' whisper
For the last time, lingering.

Goodbye, my almost flame.

And as I recite these lines
You only see the smiles.

Will I ever let you go?

I wonder.

Chosen Blindness

You are hurting me.

Our Song (as of now)

With our current situation, this is our song...

SO CLOSE

by Jon McLaughlin

You’re in my arms

And all the world is calm

The music playing on for only two

So close together

And when I’m with you

So close to feeling alive

A life goes by

Romantic dreams will stop

So I bid mine goodbye and never knew

So close was waiting, waiting here with you

And now forever I know

All that I wanted to hold you

So close

So close to reaching that famous happy end

Almost believing this was not pretend

And now you’re beside me and look how far we’ve come

So far we are so close

How could I face the faceless days

If I should lose you now?

We’re so close

To reaching that famous happy end

And almost believing this was not pretend

Let’s go on dreaming for we know we are

So close

So close

And still so far

S-U-M-M-E-R is a Three-letter Word

gian.ia.joseph.jules.kiel.mico.migs.nikki.stacey.vince.yves

After a roller coaster of a year (which ended with a Math20.3a Final Exam), what is there better to do than commence the summer season with the XX2 ULTIMATE SUMMER OUTING?!

March 27, 2009
Who even remembered the Math 20.3a finals after it was done? After packing all the necessities for a four-day and four-nights stay off Manila’s glitz and glamour, eleven of XX2 people hit the road to Calaca, Batangas.
The group had to split in to two subgroups for the transportation. I rode with Stace, Yves, Joseph, Kiel & Jules and despite the heavy traffic near the outskirts of the Metro, the ride was super fun as we told stories, sang songs, joked around, got carried away while driving along the zigzagged road and scared each other (Jules is a meanie). It was already quite dark when we reached Calaca so we got quite confused (i.e. lost) while looking for the place we were supposed to stay at. Getting a bit lost was quite reasonable since the place was very far from the main road, the path to it is not really paved and it was dark. Thankfully, we arrived safely to the place and said hello to Whispering Waves Beach House – our home for four days. Kuya --- (I didn’t really catch his name), the caretaker, helped us settle down when we arrived. After slightly exploring the place and arranging sleeping assignments, we all ate a happy dinner with roasted chicken and rice.

Despite the time and travel, sure had lots of energy on reserve as we still played this little hot spot game. Nikki and Kiel prepared questions which we are to get from a bottle. The questions were not really difficult and spot on but there were some that really perked up the attention of those who are present. It was indeed a long night and we all had to wake up early for we are to prepare for a surprise for Stacey the next day!

March 28, 2009
Equipped with two hours of sleep, I quietly crept out of the bedroom and joined the once who slept less or none at all (Gian, Jules and Yves) to set-up Stacey’s surprise advance birthday celebration. It was a super cute surprise made up of “H.B. Stace” pancake cut-outs, letters-in-a-test-tube hunt and 18 songs. The lack of sleep is worth it as Stace really showed her appreciation. XX2 hearts Stacey!

Before the noon, everyone scrambled, donned our swim gears and hit the cool pool! Though the beach is just nearby, we opt for the pool for the day since it was high tide, making the shore seem non-existent. Despite our watery pool fun, Nikki had to leave for Laguna by high noon so before she left, we took lotsa pictures with Kiel’s dSLR. We had fun with you Nikki! The ten of us continued pool fun for six hours before we decided to step out of the water for pasta dinner care of Jules, Kiel and Yves.

After dinner, most of us decided to stay-up and participate in the Earth Hour. We lit a couple of candles, mixed up pitchers of punch (if you know what I mean), played ‘I’ve never’ and just chilled. That night ended a bit weird as we got freaked out by things and stuff (sorry about that guys). Well, at least we got to sleep a bit. On to the next day!

March 29, 2009

Mico, Joseph, Gian, Stacey and I headed to the town’s market to buy food stuff for the day. With Kuya the caretaker, we rode a tricycle to the said area where the trade is on. Thankfully, the goods are still fresh as we bought fish fillet to fry, chicken breast, pork belly and tilapia to grill, hotdogs to roast and veggies to complement all the protein-rich foodies. After acquiring the necessities, everyone is on to preparing the Super Brunch.

SUPER BRUNCH
Crab and Corn Soup

Breaded Blue Marlin Fish Fillet with Asian and Honey Mustard Dips

Tomato Rotini Pasta
Fresh Melon Juice

Watermelon Wedges

When we were done enjoying the yummy brunch prepared by everyone, we got overwhelmed by the pile of soiled wares waiting to be cleaned up. I really salute Jules and Kiel for taking on the challenge of washing those stacks of plates and kitchen stuff. Our stay in Whispering Waves would not be complete if we did not take advantage of the beach and nature seemed to agree with us since the sea created a more spacious beach and a lower level of water. I personally liked the fine black sand and the gentle waves of water as I saw the sunset live. Too bad I didn’t have my camera back then.

I had this personally significant experience in the arms of the ocean that I want to share. While we were playing in the open sea a bit after the sun had set, I felt that I had stepped on something. I reached down to the sea bed and grabbed a handful of sand, assuming that along with that comes the thing I stepped on. I touched the lump on my hand and to my surprise, there sat a small starfish. No, friends. I did not remember him – I saw someone else and now, the term starfish has certain significance. It is no longer a name that popped out of nowhere. There is life to it. Despite the cheers of my blockmates for me to take the said starfish out of the ocean, I opted to throw it back to the waters where it belongs.

When the skies started to darken, we raced back to the shore and retreated to the pool where they played water-based dodgeball while Kiel and I started marinating and cooking for the night’s grilled dinner. If we had a Super Brunch, we sure did prepare the Supreme Dinner. Us, girls, did all the indoor and kitchen parts while the boys took over the grilling. Preparing meals sure is rewarding!

SUPREME DINNER – Grill Night Special

Grilled Pork Belly

Grilled Chicken Breast

Grilled Stuffed Tilapia

Sautéed Kangkong

Salted Egg and Tomatoes Salad

Fresh Melon Juice

Pineapple Slices

Dragon Fruit Cubes

Mango Slices

Watermelon Wedges

So what do you guys think of our last dinner menu? If you think the night is over with such a meal, you are entirely mistaken. After eating, it was time for another surprise – KIEL’S 18th Birthday! The surprise for her involves a “H.B. KIEL” spelled out by candles near the beach, 18 plans (since she plans a lot), 18 songs and 18 flowers by a warm bonfire participated by dressed girls and polo-and-board-shorts-clad boys. I’m super happy that Kiel enjoyed her 18th birthday celebration! XX2 hearts you too Kiel! :D

With a bonfire present, marshmallows and hotdogs sure made their appearances. We talked and stargazed until we all felt the need to sleep as we are soon to head back to Manila.

March 30, 2009

As soon as we woke up, everyone was on adrenaline rush for we were running late for our slated departure time. Added to that were the tons of dishes needed to be washed from last night’s feast, personal things to pack, furniture to tidy-up and breakfast to cook. Fortunately, we were all moving to accomplish things faster. By the time our ride home arrived, we were all set to go. We said or thanks and goodbye to Kuya, the caretaker, and headed out of Whispering Waves Beach House of Calaca, Batangas.

Any fun-loving soul would appreciate a little detour especially when the destination is Zipline at Tagaytay Highlands. A super daring yet cool experience! Try it when you are in Tagaytay and feel what it is like to almost fly!

After all the fun at Zipline, we seriously headed home to Manila.

I personally want to thank Kiel for organizing this outing. Rock on, you one glamorous and lovely lady! Of course, the fun would not be complete without everyone’s – Gian, Joseph, Jules, Kiel, Mico, Migs, Stacey, Vince, Yves – presence. You guys did fire up my summer! XX2 will also rock summer school!

The beach. One house. Eleven people. One block.

Let’s get this season started!

F-U-N

*photos are from me and from Kiel's site.

Bringing in the Heat

It’s done… for now.

The first year in college seemed to be a breeze as I seat comfortably on my bed, freely tapping on the keys of my laptop. I still remember how I now got used to all the “new” things that awed me not long before along with those that introduced fresh strings of challenges and stress. Of course, I could not thank enough the people who made the year a cool one – blockmates, professors, friends and everyone in general. I just finished computing for my QPI (the verdict on my academic performance for the previous semester) and it was only then that I realized that first year is indeed over. But, there’s more to come.

You might be congratulating me for the summer season and I thank you for that. However, my scholastic duties beckon me to abandon two months on the sandy beaches under the blazing heat of the sun and spend the best season of the year within the four corners of a classroom.

Yep, you read that line right – summer school.

In place of having to spend five years in college due to my program of study, I have to take two courses for the each of the next few summers and that starts now. It’s not really that bad (I hope) since it will still be an opportunity to meet new people who will also be spending most of their summer the way I will. I sure hope the classrooms will be air-conditioned *cross fingers*.

This summer will be so new.

I’ll keep you posted on my adventures! :D
allyne

From Me to You

Let's get this straight -- I am feeling under the weather right now.

And it's all because of you.

For weeks, I attempted to write about something happy or anything at all, hoping I could somehow forget. It was a fruitless endeavor. Everytime I face a blank page, my thoughts immediately drifts to you. Our seemingly endless conversations keeps playing in my mind. Yes, you distract me this much. You are usually on my daydreams that I already even have an idea what our next conversation would be about and how it will start. We'd talk about her and I'd listen attentively even if I'd feel somewhat hurt since these words would still be from you. My friends tell me that I'm being stupid for drowning my self into you without any assurance that I'll be revived. But what can I do if death by your words would send me to heaven?

It's quite funny since you don't realize that you already own me because you are focused on owning somebody else. Precious hours I secretly reserve just for you while I have to share for yours.

I'm not complaining because, your ignorance is my bliss.

I'm not doing all these things because I've already fallen for you. I do this because it makes me happy.

No, I don't love you. Not yet.

But if we continue this, I might as well jump right off the edge and fall hard.

Raining

When things go wrong, the first thing I ask my self is "Why?".

For some reason, I find solace in the possibility of figuring out what went wrong or if I can still do something to make things better (if not right). And I'm sure that its not just me.

Everybody's searching for answers and possibilities for different reasons.

I had been asking my self questions for quite some time now and I don't seem to find any answer. Yes, it helps ease the burden as I acknowledge the fact that I am indeed confused, scared and uncertain about certain things right. But still, the need for answers lingers. In the mean time, I can just bury thoughts and think of other things but no matter how I try, trivial things can't erase the unpleasant feelings.

In the end, I still remember.

The most difficult circumstances are the ones that involve other people. For me, it is very difficult not to consider the feelings of the people involved in the situation. I don't know, it's the way my mind and heart operates. My movements are limited because I don't want to rub in the hurt or pain people are feeling. And in order to do that, they ask for time.

I just can't say no.

As people often ask for time (meaning I have to keep my distance for awhile), I just agree even if saying yes simply breaks my heart. It hurts for I fear that they'll forget the reason thus, including the answers I'm looking for.

For now, I give you the time you're aasking for. But I need your assurance that when you have finally got a better grasp of things, you won't forget the answers I am waiting for.

Until then, I'll be here. Waiting

Minna no Kimochi

:)*originally posted at Seeing Blind Spot

Taken from Lea-chan :D The experience was super funny and relaxing. I really needed a good laugh these days.


RULES:
1. Put your MP3 player, iTunes, Windows Media Player, etc. on shuffle.
2. For each question, press the next button to get your answer.
3. YOU MUST WRITE THAT SONG NAME DOWN NO MATTER HOW SILLY IT SOUNDS.
4. Tag at least 10 friends (make me #11 so I can see your results).
5. Everyone has to do the same thing.
6. Have Fun!

IF SOMEONE SAYS 'ARE YOU OKAY' YOU SAY?
"The Way I Are" by Timbaland featuring Keri Hilson

Baby, it's alright now, you ain't gotta flaunt for me. I guess that's how it works. :D

HOW WOULD YOU DESCRIBE YOURSELF?
"Fukai Mori (Deep Forest)" by Do as Inifinity

We live our lives wandering to the ends of the earth, closing off the way back, we walk on for eternity. It was one of the ending theme songs of InuYasha that I super loved. I like this part of the song, well technically, this translated part of the song.

WHAT DO YOU LIKE IN A GUY/GIRL?
"Genie in a Bottle" by Christina Aguilera

I don't get why. Not a part of it. A guy who'll give me what I want? so lost...

HOW DO YOU FEEL TODAY?
"Feedback" by Janet Jackson

Never in my life will I ever talk like this. SCARY!

WHAT IS YOUR LIFE'S PURPOSE?
"Give it to Me" by Nelly Furtado featuring Timbaland and Justin Timberlake

Uhm. Demanding?

WHAT'S YOUR MOTTO?
"Bubbly" by Colbie Calliat

Bull's eye. Amazing. From the title itself. :- Need I say more? Bow.

WHAT DO YOUR FRIENDS THINK OF YOU?
"Since You've been Gone" by Kelly Clarkson

Oh NO! I love my friends! This is so wrong.

WHAT DO YOUR PARENTS THINK OF YOU?
"Pon de Replay" by Rihanna

My parents don't even know this song! Hahaha!

WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT VERY OFTEN?
"I Like that You Can't Take That Away from Me" from Take the Lead

Clueless again. I think about dancing all the time?

WHAT IS 2 + 2?
"Only Hope" by Mandy Moore

Depending on what this question meant, I can have a guess. But right now, I can't think of any.

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR BEST FRIEND?
"Fergalicious" by Fergie

Now that's funny! I don't have a best friend right now but I have a few super close friends. So they are fergalicious? LOL :

WHAT IS YOUR LIFE STORY?
"Your Guardian Angel" by Red Jumpsuit Apparatus

I will never let you fall. I'll stand up with you forever. I'll be there for you through it all. Even if saving you sends me to heaven. Now that's nice... I like it.

WHAT DO YOU WANT TO BE WHEN YOU GROW UP?
"Bartender" by T-pain featuring Akon

Funny! Literal answer. Good job. But no, I don't want to be a bartender.

WHAT DO YOU THINK WHEN YOU SEE THE PERSON YOU LIKE?
"You and Me" by Lifehouse

And it's you and me and all other people and I don't know why, I can't keep my eyes off of you. True. Enough said.

WHAT WILL YOU DANCE TO AT YOUR WEDDING?
"Ever Ever After" by Carrie Underwood

Super cute song! And yep, I do believe in happy endings. ;)

WHAT WILL THEY PLAY AT YOUR FUNERAL?
"Push Up on Me" by Rihanna

o.O No idea. I die then this is the song? Party on my funeral then?

WHAT IS YOUR HOBBY/INTEREST?
"Taking Over Me" by Evanescence

I never stop believing in people. Maybe that's my hobby. :)

WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST FEAR?
"Wind It Up" by Gwen Stefani

I know he thinks you're fine and stuff But does he know how to wind you up? LOL

WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST SECRET?
"Where Ever You Will Go" by the Calling

If I could, then I would I'll go wherever you will go. Maybe that's true. Maybe I would.

WHAT DO YOU WANT RIGHT NOW?
"Where is the Love?" Black Eyed Peas

'Kay. Love then.

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR FRIENDS?
"Far Away" by Nickleback

You know I love you. I have loved you all along. And I miss you, been far away for far too long. My high school friends -- I do miss you guys.

WHAT WILL YOU POST THIS AS?
"Minna no Kimochi (Every Heart)" by BOA

I guess we are all searching for something. ;)

Try it! :D

Nine Things

Say hello to 2009, people!

Hey, hey, hey! Another year has come for us to rock and just live, love and laugh. Okay, no need to remind me of my slacking and just pure laziness – I already know and somehow, sloth is a sin we all commit in varying degrees. So, now, on the dawn of the Year of the Ox, I am establishing the principles/virtues/goals that I want and I need in order to make 2009 a blast! Look, for seventeen years now , I’ve never done anything like this sort of “new year’s resolution” because I feel that coming up with one is too cliché. But then, I remembered that I’m a visual/active type of person – that I recall things better when I see them or when I write or perform the thing itself. So I guess I have no choice then? One note though, whatever I write here, doesn’t mean that I am making a promise or anything of that degree. I just want to give myself some direction since promises are of a whole different level that, based from experience, are not easily achieved by anyone at a whim. I wrote nine goals for the year two-double zero-NINE.

Well, what are we waiting for? Let’s roll…

1. ‘Diamonds are a girl’s best friend…’ – Nope, I’m not going to start wearing jewelries or fancy accessories when not necessary. I just used the said line from Moulin Rouge because of the materialism that it emits. I admit that I became very worldly during the past year that I casually spent what I have saved and I want to make things right. Yep, that’s my number one goal for 2009 since global economy is currently unstable (not that Philippine economy had been stable for the last 5 years, but anyway) and I’m still at a stage where I’m not that capable yet of earning much as I want to. Save, save, save!

2. Read up! – One thing that I regret about my 2008 was the fact that I had only read few books compared to the previous years. I can’t throw the “I’m busy” BS upon my self since reading is one of my passions. You can’t just ignore the things that make you happy because you’re busy – you find time, right? So for 2009, I don’t care if Dr. Gross wants me to read 57 pages of chemistry stuff. I’ll find time to read books that are not required for school though I’m not zooming in exclusively on books. I’d love to be in touch with magazines, journals, blogs, articles, anything as long as they’d provide me a different insight each day.

3. ‘Smile’ – People say that I’m always smiling. I’m not really sure about that but I think it’s not a bad thing to incorporate, ne? Before, I have this friend who dared me to smile at a random person everyday. I was kind of freaked out by the thought of doing such but when I looked at the idea on a different point of view, such practice would be great. Besides, everyone’s so busy nowadays that we forget how to be happy for the seemingly little yet more important things in this world. And by smiling, I mean sincerely, not some fake ‘say cheese!’ smile. You feel it when you mean it right?

4. Aim Higher – Okay, this is a weird one. In my entire life, I’ve always fought hard and played harder to get what I want but somewhere along the way, I found myself losing that fire. I want to rekindle that fire, feel everything that I do. I’m not only talking about academics but things in general. Nope, I won’t settle for anything less than what I want and I’m sure you’ll be there to help me.

5. Keep it Real – Another cliché but true line. I’m not a saint and I admit that I do lie. I did lie during 2008 and I know it’s wrong to deceive others and one ’s self. Even if there are so-called white lies, I want to keep things, somehow, clean. Another thing about this goal is about shutting my mouth when I won’t be able to say something good. Things will feel better and will be better if I aim to do those. I can feel it.

6. Miss Independent – Not that I’m not independent already but specifically, I want to be more mature and responsible of myself in terms of decision-making, chores, and other affairs. I think losing track of my planner affected my 2008 and I don’t want that to happen this year so I’ll be vigilant in terms of my awareness level regarding deadlines, events, exam dates and birthdays. Also, I want to incorporate organization into my life by doing things on time so I don’t find myself going nocturnal during hell weeks. It will need a lot of work but hey, I’m certain that everything will be worth it.

7. Love...loves…love! – Last year, I got so caught up on searching for romantic love that I almost forgot that love is not always equal to romance. For once, I resolve to focus on the people who already love me – family and friends, reciprocate the love and care they limitlessly give. I don’t need to look for romance desperately, it will just come at the right place and at the right time. Romantic love is not something we can rush for it’s just not easy to deal with. Besides, true love waits. :)

8. An apple a day keeps the doctor away -- I won't just say that I want to lose weight because people can lose weight while sacrificing their health. I just want to be away from any type of illness by trying to eat according to the food pyramid and doing simple exercises to keep my body moving. These small steps are more realistic than torturing my self to lose, say, 30 pounds before the year ends. Health cannot be bought so let's take care of it.

9. Live for the moment – Above all things, now is the most important. He is the only one who knows what’s going to happen next. Better make the most out of it since we can’t bring it back whenever we want to. And of course, offer each day to Him.

Well, that’s the bulk of it folks. I hope you’ll also be able to figure out what YOU want for yourself this year and make them happen.

Until my next entry! Have a rockin’ year ahead!