Falling Stones

See you soon school days!

Summer day is up yet I feel so impossible instead of having the sensation of getting all geared up and ready to soak under the sun or feel splashy while swimming in the warm sea water. You must be thinking that I’m retarded or something like that because I don’t have the “summer vibe” in me. Me too, I think that I’m an alien.

Sigh. My sophomore life was a total blast, I must admit. I got spanking new friendships, amazing teachers, intimidating challenges, tough roles and touching life-based lessons. Unfortunately, as this amazing adventure ended, unforeseen obstacles laid bare in front of my eyes. As you see, I wasn’t ready for any of these late-blooming problems for I did enjoy being a sophie that much. You might be already wondering if what my dilemma is. Well, it’s just about the same old friendship-love jam experienced during good ol’ high school days. I’ve been through the lovey-dove stage and successful made through it but now, a new character appeared, making it much difficult.

I love my friends. Who doesn’t? They’re the one who joins in to your cheesy laughter and the one who lend their shoulders to you when you’re cry your heart out due to a broken heart. They do those stuff even it makes them look stupid and in return, we also want to do it for them. The “comfort cycle” goes on and on. But what happens when you cry out too much and you feel that your friends don’t feel like it anymore?

Well, I broke down when I felt that sensation. I was also crying my heart out because the person whom I really care for doesn’t give a damn for my feelings even I laid it in front of him. It really hurt, you see. I ran to my friends’ arms and sought comfort but days passed, and I’m still not that certain of my console, I received cold shoulders and weird glances towards me. I shrugged it off, seeing that I might be mistaken. I waited and tried to persuade the little voice in my head that I’m just thinking too much and jumping into conclusions without any reason at all. Then, without any warning, I broke down all by my self, feeling all abandoned and stuff. I continued like that for days and nights, though I kept a blank façade to tell my self that I’m normal.

I thought that I’m fine but you see, friends actually know your moods. They can see through what you want to make them see and they also get affected, you know. The last thing I wanted that time was a confrontation but still, it did happen. I don’t really wanna face it. I just wanna break free from the reality but I just can’t, it was laid in front of me. I told them the truth but the tension didn’t fade away. But I just smiled weakly and told my self that everything’s gonna be fine soon.

We’re fine now, me and my friends. I just remembered this as a nightmare which was made to test my happiness over the past ten months. I don’t think about it that much these days because it will just ruin the renewed friendship we are rebuilding. I taught my self to keep it cool though I am really not in the hype. I just learned that when love bugs you, strive to think straight. If you don’t you’ll never know what’s gonna happen.