Dearest by Ayumi Hamasaki

Song Interpretation

Romaji:

Hontou ni taisetsu na mono igai
Subete sutete shimaetara
Ii no ni ne
Genjitsu wa tada zankoku de

Sonna toki itsu datte
Me o tojireba
Waratte'ru kimi ga iru

Aa itsu ka eien no
Nemuri ni tsuku hi made
Dou ka sono egao ga
Taema naku aru you ni

Hito wa minna kanashii kana?
Wasure yuku ikimono da kedo

Ai subeki mono no tame
Ai o kureru mono no tame
Dekiru koto

Ah deatta ano koro wa
Subete ga bukiyou de
Toomawari shita yo ne
Kizu tsukeatta yo ne

Ah itsu ka eien no
Nemuri ni tsuku hi made
Dou ka sono egao ga
Taema naku aru yo ni
Ah deatta ano koro wa
Subete ga bukiyou de
Toomawari shita kedo
Tadori tsuita ni da ne

English:

It would be nice if
we could throw away everything
but what is most important;
Reality is just cruel

Whenever I close my eyes
you're there,
smiling

Ah- I hope your smiling face
is with me until the day
I fall into eternal sleep

Are all people sad?
They are forgetful creatures...

For that which you should love,
for that which gives love:
give it your all

Ah- when we met
we were so awkward
We've taken the long road;
we've hurt each other along the way


Ah- I hope your smiling face
is with me until the day
I fall into eternal sleep

Ah- when we met
we were so awkward
We've taken the long road,
but we've finally arrived

It would be nice if we could throw away everything…

Man is naturally curious, never contented of what he has but always thinks of what he can have. As generations pass by, man sees more and discovers more thus making him more materialistic and earthly. Thinking of how we can all be selfless and return to the time where everyone is a person of the earth and all has just each other to hold on to, maybe we can all remember that there are more important things around us.
I hope your smiling face is with me until the day I fall into eternal sleep…

When we are lost, we always want to find a person to whom we can run to, for solace and shelter, from the harshness of reality. In the light of such person, we find our selves confident enough to face what’s waiting for us even we know that there will come a time that our lives will end and part ways. As long as this significant person gives us light to hold on to life’s challenges, everything’s okay.

Are all people sad? They are forgetful creatures…

Getting into a lot of stress, challenges, problems, man usually can’t decide which among his goals his priority is. Wanting to get everything for himself, he just ends up loosing everything he has because he is more focusing in acquiring the things he has not. With such perspective, man can never and will never be happy because he never gets contented with what he has.

For that which you should love, for that which gives love - give it your all…

As an age-old saying goes, it is better to love someone who can love you back than love something that can never love you back. Material things come and go. Many people are suffering inwardly due to loneliness and regret – for letting go of the people who love them so much, family, friends, lovers, for worldly joys. Upon experience, when you meet someone you feel that can and will love you, return the act without holding back. It is better to try and be hurt than hang on to luxury yet doubt to reality.

We've taken the long road - we've hurt each other along the way…

Life’s never easy and will never be perfect. In any bond man will make with another, it is impossible to have conflicts some time. Before reaching the mere happiness, these disputes must always be seen as instruments into toughening the ties made with each other, not as a reason for drifting apart.

I hope you saw the beauty of this song the way I did. It's such a good song to be disregarded due to different perspectives.

Bleeding

I tried to let go of everything – my self, my heart, my soul, my mind. With no holding back, I gave everything selflessly to the person I thought deserves it well enough. Suddenly, I realized that my fragile heart has been once again shattered into million pieces.

Barely seeing anything, I just fell down and cried, hard enough for the flight of my life and soul. Everything feels so cold as my tears continuously fall from my eyes. Tireless my eyes seem to be for I’ve been grieving to myself for so long now. My mind’s at a haze. I can’t think straight enough.

Must this be the price I need to pay for loving true enough?

How could you hurt me after all we’ve been through?

Hypermode Real

Well, I'm back to reality and I'm finally free from holding back. Anyway, gotta do my stuff for school or i'll just be haggard and all due to lack of sleep. I'll tell you all that much when I get back!

Mumbling Shambles

Belated Happy Halloween everyone!

Quite a short vacation it is for me. I don’t want to go back to school yet!!!

Anyway, I want to share this text message a friend of mine sent me earlier this week. I found it really touching yet sad. I hope you read it too. Here it goes:

There was a bad guy who fell in love with a good girl.
The guy really love the girl,
So much that he would do anything just to make her happy.

The girl told the guy to refrain from having trouble with other guys.
One day, the girl heard the news about a rumble.
She saw the guy, bloody and dying.

The girl cried.
But the guy just smiled and said,

“I didn’t fight back because you might get mad at me.”

So sad…

Anyway, I’m just dropping by to see what’s going on online. I don’t wanna go to school yet. Saturday and Sunday seems to be short enough for me. So many homeworks, portfolio entries, journal entries, lecture notes to complete, projects to accomplish, lessons to be reviewed. All of these are driving me insane! Garsh… I also found out about the new Evanescence album – The Open Door and I’m so depressed because I can’t seem to find time to go and buy one! Sniff sniff…

Sigh… see you next time when I feel better!

At a random

While I was browsing through YouTube.com, I discovered that my choir mate Mikka posted the amateur video of our performance during the Musikappela. If interested to see and hear our acts, click the following links, Paraiso and/or Anak. Leave out commentsm ayt!

Anyway, I'm just dropping by to see how you are all doing! Ja!

Memoir of a While

Restless?

Definitely I am.

I can’t imagine myself in an idle state for I’m accustomed of doing a lot of things in a certain period of time. It’s like I’m born to move and to promote change in my own perspective.

Recently, I’ve experienced almost all the color of emotions. With so many activities to accomplish, I’ve felt excitement to depression. Kind of surreal but it did occur to me in such a short span of time.

To summarize all of my “adventures” these past weeks, here’s my short list of activities during the past 2 weeks:

- I went to the University of Santo Tomas and attended the 8th Inkblots Journalism Fellowship with some of my co-writers for the school paper and our advisers.

- I joined this interdisciplinary quiz bee and wrecked my brains out.

- I trained my vocal chords really hard for the Coro San Antonio Concert with the DanSSA, Pep Squad and SingMungLaw

- I cleaned our classroom all by myself when eventually my very grateful classmates messed it once more

- I slept late by 11:00 pm for four nights straight and eventually woke up at 5:00 am the next days straight

- I participated in the preparation of Student Government activities and stuff related to it making me all worn out

- I interviewed one of the subject coordinators and kept bugging him since then.

- I became the usherette for Ms. Miriam Quiambao, the Filipina 1st Runner Up
during one of the Miss Universe Beauty Pageant, for the alternative class program in our school.

- I had so many news sniffing deeds done for the school paper.

- Accomplished my academic activities such as seatworks, homeworks, theme writing, lecture notes and some projects.

- Fall in and out of love --> Sharky (they don’t approve but I don’t know. I'm going to talk more about him soon)

- Have some serious feud with my upper classmen

- Wake up late after all my activities to catch up with my physical needs

Well, after all that I’ve been through I’m thankful on having a two-week vacation
before coming back to the jam-packed world called school. There’s so much that I want to tell all of you but I wasn’t able to hit the keys due to excessive work load. At least I uploaded something! Hahaha.

I want to have fun during this break. I hope you do too.

Endless Seal of Tears II

“Allyne.”

“Allyne.”

“Huh?” I asked, snapping back to reality.

Where am I?

Right, I’m here at my choir practice. I hear some of my choir mates practicing their lines while our instructor is out. I must have been drifting off for a long while already that I didn’t even realize that it’s almost 6:00 pm.

“Gee, you really seem distracted,” I heard a voice behind me speak. I turned around and I met the face of my friend, Drew.

“Says who?” I retorted lightly.

“By me. See, you’re actually singing but you’re not into the song. What’s wrong with you?” He told me, his eyes piercing mine.

Drew is really a good guy. Very wacky and silent at the same time, he’s got this atmosphere as if he’s reading into your mind. We’ve been friends for quite some time now so it does not surprise me that he can clearly see through me.

“It’s him again, isn’t it?” He asked me though he made it sound like an actual statement.

Who can blame him for knowing? Well, it’s not that I’m really that obvious but I really like the person Drew’s talking about and I don’t know the reason.

“What are you talking about?” I snapped rather too loudly that I got the attention of my other choir mates. I muttered an apology and turned to Drew who is fixing his contact lenses.

“Don’t be funny. As If I don’t know that you’re already dying inside seeing that Andreeya toy with his feelings and you can do nothing about it because you don’t want to ruin your golden friendship with him. That you actually want to be more than his mathematics-teaching best friend.” He hissed at me though his eyes are squinting without his contact lenses on.

You’re right, Drew. Absolutely right.

“I know what I’m doing, Drew. I appreciate the concern but you’re in no position to say such things to me.” I told Drew off, just in time as our instructor came back.

~~~

“See you tomorrow!”

Yikes. It’s 7:00 pm already. I need to rush home right now. My mom’s going to kill me.

Ring! Ring!

“Hello, Allyne here.” I said as I lifted my mobile phone to my ear.

“It’s Drew. Turn around.”

I did as I heard Drew’s voice from the other line. He’s standing in front of the entrance of the village park, his face illustrating pain and sadness. I placed my phone in my pocket and approached him. I know it’s already late for me but I can’t turn my back on a friend who is obviously in need of me.

“What’s wrong? Isn’t it that you’re house on the other way?” I asked him, trying to lighten up the mood with my chipper character.

All of the sudden, I found myself locked in Drew’s tight embrace. My eyes went wide but I told my self to calm down. I took it as his need for comfort and returned him a light embrace.

After a few moments, he let go of me yet one of his strong arms is still holding me on my waist. I looked into his eyes and saw a different set of orbs. With his face inches from mine, I can feel is calm breathing upon my cheek. What’s going on? Is this the Drew I know?

“Allyne, I’m tired of being your piano-playing choir mate and friend.” He told me, he’s eye confirming the conviction of his words.

My eyes went wide. I am not hearing this! Drew? What’s happening?

“I- I don’t get you…” I managed to stutter as I felt uncomfortable within his grip.

He took my right hand and lifted it to his left chest. I felt blood flushing from my body.

“Don’t you realize how I actually feel for you?”

As he said those words, I tore through the night, away from Drew, away from the park, away from everything. What is this? Some kind of a sick joke?

~~

“Darling, you’ve got a call.”

I heard my mom call through the door. Lazily, I opened the door and took the telephone from my mom and closed the door once again.

“Allyne here.”
“Something of the matter? Look, I’m sorry with what I’ve said earlier.”

“Oh. I should be the one who’s sorry because I promised to help you with math today.”

Thank heavens that it’s not Drew though it is the him – the guy I wished for – we had fought about.

“So, what’s with the sadness?” He asked me.

This is going to be a rough road before it starts.

Musikapella 2006

As promised, here are some pix I've got from our choral competition last September 3, 2006.

This picture was taken inside our vehicle to the venue after practicing in school. There's Mikka, I and Rjeelyn.









Almost there. Chilling at the back stage during the rehearsals two hours before the program with Rizelle, Ate Clarisse, Ate Angela, and Rjeelyn.

Still trippin' to ease the excitement and nervous feeling before the show with Mikka, Robert, Rjeelyn, Sharmaine and Ate Camille and Kuya Joseph.

It's time to shine! Preped up and ready, my choir mates and I, along with our ever hardworking conductor, Sir Paul gave our shot to sing our song pieces Paraiso and Anak. This is seriously the best time of my life.

Naruto

Anime:

(From the manga creation of Masashi Kishimoto published in 1999)
Originally Aired: October 3, 2002
Status: ongoing at Cartoon Network

Summary: During the rule of the Yondaime Hokage (Fourth Hokage), the Hidden Village of Leaf (Konoha Gakure) was attacked by the fierce Nine-Tailed Fox Demon (Kyuubi), predicting the destruction of the village if it was not captured and sealed. Knowing his responsibility to protect the village and the villagers, Yondaime Hokage sacrificed himself and sealed the fearsome Kyuubi in the belly of a baby boy named UZUMAKI NARUTO. The Sandaime Hokage (Third Hokage) resumed his position in the village after the death of the Yondaime and made a rule that no one in the village must speak a word about the Kyuubi being sealed within Naruto.

Ever since he was young, Naruto was hated by the people of Konoha for they presume that Naruto is the Kyuubi. Naruto did not understand the reason behind the coldness of the villagers towards him. In order to attract attention from them, he did all sorts of pranks and idiocy but still did not succeed. Until he became a student at the village’s ninja academy he went on with his antics trying to amuse himself despite his solitude. At the age of 13, for the third time, Naruto failed in the academy test which featured his worst technique (jutsu), Bunshin no Jutsu. Though depressed, Naruto overcame the challenges and temptations including the ability to learn the first forbidden technique sealed by the Yondaime Hokage in a sacred scroll, the Kage Bunshin no Justu (Shadow Clone Technique). After all that has been done, Naruto finally graduated in the academy and became a Genin.

Now part of the team seven of a three-man team, with his fellow genin ninjas Uchiha Sasuke & Haruno Sakura and their Jounin sensei Hatake Kakashi, Naruto strives towards his dream of being the Hokage while learning the value of friendship, responsibility and strength.

Comments:
When I started watching Naruto from the local television station, I instantly got hooked by the funny antics of Naruto himself. The presence of action, drama, comedy and all that jazz amazes me in a way that I can’t stop my self from watching it over and over again! Though I totally rock the anime version, I must say that the manga version is much different and somehow better that of the anime. But still, in the anime, you see the real action so it might be best to read both. As of now, there are 185 anime episodes wherein 45 or so are fillers that are created for some reasons of the mangaka, Masashi-sama, and the producers of the anime. Yeah, it’s very long but I don’t mind as long as they don extend it too much. Overall, Naruto is quite an action packed anime tied up with comedy and drama though I could sue the fillers because as of now, the most decent filler arc was regarding the Hidden Star Village. Sigh, if I only don’t like this anime, I wouldn’t stick my self, waiting for the slow progress of the anime. I wanted to beg Masashi-sama to please, please, please release the part two of the animated version… I miss Gaara already. Hehehe! ;)

Escaflowne The Movie

ESCAFLOWNE THE MOVIE (2000)
Directed by: Kazuki Akane
Japanese Cast: Sakamoto Maaya, Tomokasu Seki, Jouji Nakata
Distributed by: Omega Project
Produced by: Sunrise in association with BONES
Presented by: Bandai Visuals and Sunrise

Summary:
Hitomi Kanzaki is having a hard time with her life and just wishes it to fade away. By wishing so, she quitted the track team, ignored her friends, wrote a suicidal note and skipped classes. She continues to desire to be free from her earthly sufferings until her aspiration was granted when she was called as the “Wing Goddess” by the leader of the Black Dragon Clan who is known as Lord Folken Fanel. Responding to the call of Lord Folken as the Wing Goddess, Hitomi was brought to Gaea by being transported inside the infamous armor named as Escaflowne. Puzzled, Hitomi was rescued by the last descendant of the Dragon Clan Kings Van Fanel and the rest of the Abaharaki warriors. Together, they have surpassed different obstacles plotted by the Black Dragon Clan in the race towards the
destruction or salvation of Gaea.

Comments:
This was my first encounter with the Vision of Escaflowne as a whole. At first, I thought it’s going to be difficult for me to catch the fleet of the story but when I went on watching, I felt as if I know the whole story and all. Even if you’re new to the story of Vision of Escaflowne, you’re going to be able to relate and understand what it is all about. It was like the summary of the episodes of the Vision of Escaflowne. I also loved the songs embedded into the movie like the chants and the main song “Yubiwa” which was sung by Maaya Sakamoto. It really fits the puzzle, I must say.
In terms of the graphics and visual effects, I’m really amazed especially with the drawings of the mecha! The animation is realistic and I’m also quite impressed by the visual effects used.
Though the movie also contains some minor violence, it’s quite relevant to the storyline. If you are easy offended by such small scenes, well, I cannot say anything more.

Hurrah!

Musikapella 2006 - September 3, 2006 at the Philam Life Theater, UN Avenue Philippines.

This is the day where my choirmates, our conductor and I found the fulfillment of our hardships by participating in this choral competition. We're all nervous yet we found energy to have fun and stay calm. Thank God for His blessing and guidance since because of Him, we managed to pull through everything. I'm so happy to be part of this event! I don't have the pictures with me now but I promise that next time, I'll post some! :)

Endless Seal of Tears

I just want to rip it all out of my heart and head so that I may be peaceful. The hot rays of the sun stings my skin as it purely blur my vision. It's a Thursday - my least favorite day of the week yet, things are definitely different.

I scanned the hallway, hoping to see a familiar face. Grinning to myself, I stood near the pillars as if hiding from somebody. Suddenly, I felt a familiar tap on my right shoulder. I straightened my posture and saw a familiar face, staring down at me.

"Who are you staring at?" he asked me, his deep voice slicing into my ears.

"No one. Is that a problem with you?" I replied back, giving him a small smile.

All of a sudden, he leaned down near my left ear. My eyes widened for I think I know what's coming.

"Could you help me with my Math homework? It really sucks."

Suppressing the urge to slap my forehead, I raised my both eyebrows and pressed my lips together to hide my irritation. My eyes wandered around, glancing at the random students passing behind him. My mind is battling with the urge to look up to his deep dark brown eyes for I know that I wouldn't like the outcome if I will do so.

"Hey Allyne, we'll be having a training later. See you at the music room." Pristy, a girl from my batch, stated as she passed by the corridor.

I nodded in agreement and waved as she walked away. Then I heard a low groan from my side. Sigh...

"Hey, I'm sorry but I think you heard what Pristy said a while ago. I can't really come. I'm sure that you'll pull through Math. You're one hell of a genius within!" I remarked cheerfully, hiding my mixed emotions.

"Nice try, Allyne." He said with a scoff.

I was about to say some words of encouragement when he spoke, his voice is very low yet I can feel the intesity of his words.

"To you, I mean nothing."

My eyes widened in fear, guilt and fear after hearing his words. Walking into the sea of people, I watched him with sad eyes. I'm never gonna be successful in this feat.

What did I do?

To be continued

Reborn

I feel dead.... sleepy.

Take a look at the time when I wrote this and you'll realize why. Blabber, blabber why am I still awake? Well, homeworks and projects as usual. At least I really updated! Hahaha! After the gruesome Periodical exams, I'll be able to update longer and more often! Just came to drop by! :) Nyte Nyte.

Swift Engagement

Konnichiwa minna!

I feel so cold because of the rain outside along with the gushing wind upon my skin. I'm shivering!

Anyway, it’s been a while since I last posted an entry here. Well, as usual, my days are indeed busy and I can barely keep up with everything I need to accomplish. And this week is a bit special because… it’s Summative Tests week!

What? You’re wondering what this Summative test is? Alright, alright. I’ll do the honors (as if anybody will do it for me). Here in the Philippines, it is really called the “Mastery Test” which is being administered for every subject. And when I say tests, it is equivalent to STUDY AND RAISED EYEBROWS. Hahahaha!

I’m just being a rebel and browsing the net instead of steadily studying. I don’t know but I missed blogging and I just dropped by to say that I’m still alive and kicking! After this gory tests, expect super-ultra-uber long entries. J Till here for now!

Drops of Emotions

A bad, bad week for me because I don’t really like the way things are done regarding school, my personal life, friends, hobbies and everything that goes along with the latter. If I’m to be mirror, with what has happened within the past days, I can say that I’m already shattered and undone. At this time, I can’t really detail everything because usually, I breakdown to tears. I want to be back to my normal and happy estate where I don’t really get caught in some weird tangles wherein I always emerge as the one who lost everything emotionally. Sigh… I must concentrate because I want to do well with my upcoming exams which are one of the two ways I can make up with my blasted seatworks and quizzes. I’m gonna be good. Till I’m back!

Gibberish talk

I came home late... again.

Hahaha! When did that statement cease? Anyway, at least i'm doing something better this time instead of just waiting in the hallways and being cranky. I had this choir orientation ealier and I got alot of dreams as I move on to my life with the choir. I really love singing and I hope that I do better this year.

Currently, I'm experiencing the worst-case scenario - jam-packed homeworks! So much homeworks that I think that everyday is a homework galore and I really find it amazing for me to be able to log on to Blogger.com and pour my thoughts into this page. I'm not really complaining with the parade of homeworks coz I think that it's really fun doing them. I'm just probably overworked with juggling responsibilities like being a class president, student government associate, member of the choir, regular student, campus journalist and advance science class member. But anyway, I get alot from everything so it's ok. :)

Ja ne, Minna-san!

Dattebayo!

I’m not really doing anything much right now except being the same, all-out otaku as I am. I pity myself for not being fortunate to have a high-speed internet connection because I can’t do much with dial-up connection. But still, I won’t let the “unfortunateness” of mine to hinder me from having so much fun with the news and infos I get regarding my beloved animes. I so want to watch every good anime shows that exist! Sighs.

Anyways, to all Naruto Fans out there, if you haven’t heard of it yet, then be ashamed of your self. The third Naruto movie is coming out this August 5, 2006 in Japan with the title “The Animal Riot of the Crescent Moon Island”. Can’t wait for it to come out in English though it might also seem to be a filler to the series. To hell with the episode fillers!

You’re wondering why I’m so big about Naruto? I don’t know, I just like the way it is presented with the kawaii characters, interesting plot, cool jutsu and good animation. For more information, regarding Naruto movies and related stuff, I encourage you to visit www.naruto-movie.com. That is if you can read Japanese characters. Even I am familiar with the hiragana and katakana, my miniature knowledge regarding kanji characters messes everything, so I can't really read it properly!

* Image from Naruto-Movie.com

"Toughests"

I’M EXHAUSTED!

Here we go again with the exhausted things but still I'm laughing. Hahahaha!

A lot has happened today, as in very many things, positive and negative. So many that my body almost went down by the moment I came home at 7:00 pm. Imagine, 7:00 pm when our regular dismissal time is 3:30! Hahahahaha! Way to go for me!

Anyway, first things first. It’s my dad’s birthday today! Happy birthday to you daddy! Hahahaha! I love you! You might be amazed that our birthdays are just a day apart from each other. I feel a bit guilty for not coming home early and greet him on his special day. Hmmm… I’ll try to make it up to him somehow. J

I also encountered conflicts earlier this day because of jam-packed notebooks to be submitted by yours truly to our subject teachers that I tend to overlook what had happened to my other classmates’ notebooks. I’m really sorry for my lapses and I’m trying to do my best to improve my self in taking care of my responsibilities and in making up to those whom I’ve failed. I’m really sorry. I feel very guilty about those offensive languages they heard because of the unpredictable happenings. I’m really sorry!

On the other hand, I think that my Geometry class really rocks because of the cool attitude our teacher is exhibiting. It makes the complicated things easier to understand while enjoying his company and subject. If it wasn’t really for his splendid teaching methods, I would really say that Geometry is really difficult and will make my brain bleed. I might really do well in my Math class if this high energy of learning continues.

The biggest and nerve-wracking experience I had today is the interview session I had with the Assistant Principal and the two school paper advisers for the designations of the editors for the high school campus paper. I’m not really into that kind of responsibility but I wouldn’t really mind if I’m to be one, though I would really love to just write for the school paper. I’m also recapturing what I said during the interview and there are some parts that I really want to change and there are also some that I would like to elaborate more but of course I’m not gonna be able to do that because I already said it.

I think that I’m gonna be bogging down any time soon. So much has happened and it’s only a day. Fate really plays with the scenarios in my life differently. Well, I believe that loads of unexpected things are about to happen anytime soon but I hope that everything’s gonna be okay.

This is it for today. What a very long post but I think it’s gonna be cool if you read it. You can relate to some of my experiences for real. See you! Next time, I’m gonna tell you more of my not so thrilling affairs of the heart. Hahahahaha!

Whirling Thoughts

Wondering why I wasn't able to post yesterday? Well, if you say homeworks you are partly correct, but there is something more explosive than blasted homeworks. Hmm... can't get the idea? Tada! It was my birthday yesterday! I can't believe that I'm actually 15 years old! Anyway, nothing changed even though I did gain an age. I'm still the same old insane beyotch you all know. hahahaha! Just kidding! I'm nice for your information! Can't stop laughing my heart out coz I really want to kick someone's head off but of course I can't do that! So I'll just turn it into laughing like crazy instead of doing something idiotic.

Sigh.

So many homeworks today! I can do this! Just breath in. Breath out. Haaaaa!!! It's just the first week of formal classes for me but I'm all stressed out. But still, I know I'll pull though everything I'm going through with coolness!

Holy Macaroni! It's a Rush!

Can't say much now since school is rubbing too much on me but I wanna greet my friend Rodelene a very happy birthday! And to all the Dads out there, I'm sorry to not greet you last Sunday though I did greet my Dad, A VERY HAPPY FATHERS' DAY! WHOO!!! 'Til here for now, HOMEWORKS GALORE TODAY!

Stabbing with the Sword of Anger

Urg...

This day is miserable. Nothing went well except the fact that my class get to have double period free time during mondays. If I can't only rip the heads of those obnoxious people who know nothing about the real situation of life. All I can say for now is, DUH!!! The hell... I'm sorry for the mood but I can't contain my distaste for their intolerable idiocty. IF I CAN ONLY STAB THEIR BACK WITH THIS BLOG, I WILL. BUT, unfortunately, I will not taint my wonderful blog with the names of those ungrateful and brainless morons (isn't that a bit redundant? anyway like I care for now).

Burst of Life

Drool-worthy day.
It’s blazin' hot today! I feel alone here at home since everyone here is sleeping. Well, I’m not into the “dozing-off momentum” since I’ve finally recovered from the energy drain I’ve experienced these past few days. Hahahaha. Fast revitalization isn’t it? I’m amazed too. I can’t contain the liveliness that want to soar up to the sky or do hard core sound trip all day! Hahahaha! So much for recovering my strength, i'm so restless! I don't know what else to do in order to stabilize the intensity I feel. And because of that I just thought of having a sort of "pictorial" for my self. Wildness, I know but hey, I do appreciate my self so you must do too! Hahahaha! Just kidding. I don't know but it's fun to see yourself doing goofy stuff while looking all bored and stuff. I do not have much to do that's why I just thought of also updating my other blog entitled "Highway Otaku" because it contains all my thoughts regarding anime, anime and loads more of anime! Obsessed you say? Don't tell me over and over again, I know it by heart! :) Anyway, hope to see you all soon.

Beyond Limits

With all that happened within this day, I think that it is really a miracle for me to be still able to type in front of my computer, expressing my full-blown exhaustion. Yeah, I’m still babbling about energy loss ever since I’ve started back schooling. I can’t feel my body anymore. My bones and muscles are really aching and I’ve been perspiring a lot since the morning (I know, eew) but I don’t really give much attention to those stuff. But after all that me and my comrades have been through, hardships and goofs, I must say that this day totally rocks my world!

The high school fun day celebration might be over but the fun is just starting. There are loads of cool activities to expect during this school year and I believe that I'm still on for more!

Drops of Fate

June 15, 2006

Breathless…

I can’t breathe properly due to extreme exhaustion and sore body from all of the day’s work. Funny to think that I did much social interaction today though I, myself, know that I’m too passive when it comes to those things. You see, I’m the type of person who usually hang out with people I’m familiar with. Even though I’m super hyper most of the time, I don’t really mingle with acquaintances a lot since I get this tendency of feeling a bit different when I’m having conversations with loads of people I just met. But I’m very happy because at least, I’ve seen the improvement in my social skills and connection. Hahahaha. Of course, there were some conflicts and some bad trips earlier this day but I must say that, everything flowed properly. It’s so ironic for me to be very happy when I’m superbly worn out to the highest level!

Another cool thing about the high school fun day games is that everything was in chaos, as in you get to laugh out loud as long as you want, roam around and cheer for everyone or you crush. It made my irky mind work and my body is still on adrenaline rush. I can also remember the goofy moments and the almost rolling on the floor laughter my comrades and I had when the fruit and vegetable mascots came out with their rib-tickling motions and gestures. It feels so light to have a laugh out session after much pressure and energy drain out.

I never thought that this year’s fun day would be very memorable, exciting and fun in my part because honestly, I’ve never enjoyed the previous fun days because I felt that it’s not really cool and fun. But now, I can say that the weariness is replaced with the thought that I’ve been able to touch the emotions of many and that I know that I did my part in order to keep the spirit of delight alive during the day.

Blobs of Thoughts

Life’s never been easy these past years. Everything needs money, everything revolves around money. Sigh. Everyone needs the same thing yet majority of the human population are incapable of providing them selves enough worldly requirements in order to survive and continue living.
Because of this, manipulation evolves. The rich are trampling over the poor and force them into clinging upon their power. It’s quite disheartening to realize that many of our brothers and sisters are suffering under the mercy of other people when they are supposed to live out freely. I wonder what’s gotten into this world.

So much for the drama…

Anyway, I must say that things are improving with regards to my life as a Junior high school student. People are becoming more and more visible to my mind already which is a good sign for me. Some old faces are resurfacing and school activities such as choir performances and student government activities are keeping my adrenaline supply alive, keeping me a bit away from the sleepy feeling and boredom.

Another cool thing about this day is that I get to practice my communication and social skills among my upper and lower classmen. We are having this high school fest and we get to mingle with different people from different year levels and we are supposed to be communicating in English and it helps in making me more eloquent in my second language. Though “wannabe”s and snobs still exists, I could say that I like doing this more often.

I admit that I am dead exhausted but hey, life’s more fun when you get to do more things, meet new people, share more of your ideas, have more laughs with friends & acquaintances, goof around, see more that what is in your point of view and enjoy the nature of living. You gotta love high school!

Fit for Shifts: Nokia 770 Internet Tablet

Check out one of the trendiest latest gadgets from Nokia – the Nokia 770 Internet Tablet. Wherever you are, at work or just want to chill out, wireless Internet access is just at a click away with this posh handy device. May it be instant messaging or just web browsing, with broadband access through WI-FI, Nokia 770 Internet Table will surely be a part of your daily life.

Basic features:
- Linux-powered Internet Tablet OS 2006 edition with Web Browser (Opera 8) with Flash media player, Internet calling, IM compatibility, Internet Radio access and an RSS Feed Reader. It also includes primary programs such as clocks, calculator, notepads and games.
- Supports most of audio, image and video file formats.
- Has 64 MB RS Multimedia Card capacity.
- High resolution touch screen display
For more information and for purchase, visit http://www.nokia.com

I’m not really into gadgets but when I saw this Nokia 770 Internet Tablet, I was definitely hyped! With the stylish design and cool Internet browsing features, I could not ask for anything more! Surf the net wherever I may be, that sure can make my day. And that’s not all, with the classy colors of black and silver matched with dainty stylus pens, everyone who passes by will surely turn their heads to this thingamajig. Currently, Nokia 770 Internet Tablet is only available in selected western countries and some online stores. I hope it comes to Asia soon!

Misfortunes of the Firsts

Yawn.

I'm so sleepy. First day of my life as a Junior student and I'm still sleepy. What's with me? I'm not drunk nor high on something but sleep is most likely to enter my sluggish body in any minute. So much for first days of school.

Well, nothing special happened earlier this day except for the fact that I was elected as a class president. I've met new faces and recognized most but nothing really special. Honestly, my day was boring. The thrill wasn't even present. Am I just being frigid or I'm seeing a blur into the future?

Blabbers aside, I still believe that I have a good set of classmates. I've known most of them and I can work with them efficiently. But, will it still be the same?

Pressures. Pressures.

Out of Sun

Sigh.

In a few hours, summer in my world is going to be officially over: no more couch potato sessions, all-day internet browsing, bed surfing in the afternoons and most of all, no more relaxation moments to last. Well, enough of the complaints and on to the reality soon to reign. I might really miss the fun of being at home and doing nothing but still, I prefer the busy days when my body is active and kickin' butts with cool activities and stuff. Anyway, I'll keep in touch with you peeps! :)

Break Away

Konbanwa minna-san!

Let’s take a break from all those sad moments and let the summer absorb ‘em all. Ahhh! It’s nice to break free from worries right? Try to take a deep breath and release the air along with all the tension within your heart and mind. Doesn’t that feel good? The stars are starting to come out again along with the big moon that faintly lights up the darkness. Have a gaze at those small twinklers up there and if you’re lucky enough, make a wish to a falling star you encounter.

Suffering, pain, anger and turmoil are not all that composes life. These are just ingredients to spice up our days here on Earth. Wouldn’t it be quite boring if everyone on Earth is nice and good? Good natured people exist in order to share the goodness of their hearts to those who are enveloped by darkness. If there are no people who are still searching for the light, there would be no space for sharing goodness coz everyone is already good. So take a peek into the brighter side of life. Have a smile, let out a laugh and brighten up your mood. I you don’t smile at least once in a while, why, you’ll die early because of too much grief. So, cheer up and spend time with happiness in you.

It helps!

Yami no ningen

What do you get when you spend much of your time in hate and deceit?

Seeing much of my small universe, I still don’t get the real behind reason why many people turn to hate as an outlet of failure, revenge and power. Somehow I see through their pain and ambitions for humans are not perfect creatures but still, the result of it is still vague to me.

Reason is important in order to achieve one’s goal. Whatever happens, there sure is a reason behind that but with hate, there is total blur to that.

Hate is such a strong surge of emotion that floods one’s heart and soul during times of torment and sorrow especially to those with such fragile beings within them. Whenever hate is within one’s heart, everything within him is filled with hatred too. Because of hate within one’s self, the painful reality of broken ties and ruined lives surfaces around him, leaving him in greater pain.

Whenever I see a person with such darkness within his eyes, I can’t help but feel the sadness radiating from within. It’s such a shame that people can’t help but follow what their emotions tell them for the strong forces from within won’t allow it to be disregarded. It is just like any emotion binding one’s whole with it except for the fact that hatred drowns the person’s heart and soul into the never-ending pits of obscurity, never letting that person forget of its identity.

I feel not pity for people whose hearts are drowning in the mercy of the dark for I do not feel anything at all. It feels numbing to realize that someone would let his imperfection ruin the chance given to him.

When you hate and live through hate, you do not gain anything but instead, you loose everything… life, chance and all that there is.

Sudden Bubbles

The value of a person is usually when he’s done… ironic, isn’t it? Humans tend to see only the surface of another, whether it’s good or bad yet when his life is already on the line; we realize things we haven’t realized before. That’s how stupid we humans could get.

I don’t know what happened but I can’t seem to take my mind off the fact that there’s too much tension in this world and it makes me feel so helpless but putting that aside, I myself can’t seem to find a way to at least ease that feeling.

Much has been said yet all I can say and do is to think and feel eerie without even making single move. Maybe I should become more vocal and a critical thinker so that I would be able to relieve myself from too much worry. I still believe that in the small corners of the tense situations lie faith and hope into moving on forward.

Maybe it's just that being humans is quite difficult for we are not perfect. We are not immune to such negative feelings and emotions but still I think that we should at least try to suppress and forgive. I don't know what happens inside our heads but we should treasure our lives and comrades before it's too late.

Just some blurbs on being a teen…

Tight sights

This is too unpredictable…

Can you imagine being deeply immersed into something that you always wanted to dedicate yourself into it, but all of the sudden the flame dies and you feel that there’s nothing left to pursue?

Sigh…

I don’t like this experience. It’s too difficult. Too painful. It’s like everything you’ve built will be turned into ashes in a snap. Every time I want to get a grip of myself and say, “Oh come on. You’ve come this far!”, I just end up laughing at myself and realize that it’s hopeless.

Giving up is worthless, I know. But still, when the one you’ve been holding on for quite sometime eventually fades away on its own, you just can’t help but let it go…

Other Side of Crap

Impossible

Sung by Christina Aguilera
Written by Alicia Keys

Oh... Ohhh...

Oh... Oh… Oh… Ohhhh…

Oh… Oh… Oh… Ohhhh…

It’s impossible
It’s impossible to love you
If you don’t let me know what you’re feeling, yeah
Oh

It’s impossible
For me to give you what you need, oh
If always, hiding from me, oh

I don’t know what hurt you
I just I wanna make it right
Cause boy I’m sick and tired of trying to read your mind

It’s impossible (impossible)
Oh baby it’s impossible (impossible)
For me to love you this way (way)
(Hey, impossible) It’s impossible
Oh baby it’s impossible (impossible)
If you makin’ it this way

Impossible to make it easy
If you always tryin’ to make it so damn hard oh

How can I?
How can I give you all my love baby? Oh
If you’re always
Always puttin’ up your guard oh oh

This is not a circus
So don’t cha play me for a clown
How long can emotion keep on going up and down?

It’s impossible (impossible)
Oh baby it’s impossible (impossible)
For me to love you this way (way)
(Hey, impossible)
It’s impossible
Oh baby it’s impossible (impossible)
You can treat me this way
Over and over
Oh Impossible baby
Impossible oh
If you makin’ it this way
This way
Hey hey hey

It’s impossible (impossible)
Oh baby it’s impossible (impossible) ohh
If you makin’ it this way
Oh ohh..

I got really touched by this song. Probably because I am also confused in love as the song says but I don’t know. You see, this isn’t my idea of a great vacation. I want to be carefree and peaceful enough to enjoy the sunshine upon my skin.

Sometimes, being eccentric is quite depressing, as well as always being on top. You see, people look at you not for who you are but for what you have. When you’re eccentric, people would just see you as eccentric no matter what you do, as if everything in you is eccentric which is quite offending and depressing. I don’t know but it’s not a person’s fault to become eccentric to their eyes, he/she is just probably being his/herself.

I wanted to kick the hell out of those posers who tend to judge people because they don’t see people with the right objectives. They really make my blood boil to its peak. I want people to realize that each one of us is just what more than meets the eye.

However, I know that it’s quite difficult just for the fact that the world is full of prejudice and stereotypes. It’s a harsh reality but we have to accept it. I admit that I too am being overpowered by my prejudice which makes me feel so guilty. I’m not immune to temptations. It’s just that I feel for those people who are suffering with self-pity due to unjustified prejudice. And I know it’s no way near to pain, it’s a suffering.

Falling Stones

See you soon school days!

Summer day is up yet I feel so impossible instead of having the sensation of getting all geared up and ready to soak under the sun or feel splashy while swimming in the warm sea water. You must be thinking that I’m retarded or something like that because I don’t have the “summer vibe” in me. Me too, I think that I’m an alien.

Sigh. My sophomore life was a total blast, I must admit. I got spanking new friendships, amazing teachers, intimidating challenges, tough roles and touching life-based lessons. Unfortunately, as this amazing adventure ended, unforeseen obstacles laid bare in front of my eyes. As you see, I wasn’t ready for any of these late-blooming problems for I did enjoy being a sophie that much. You might be already wondering if what my dilemma is. Well, it’s just about the same old friendship-love jam experienced during good ol’ high school days. I’ve been through the lovey-dove stage and successful made through it but now, a new character appeared, making it much difficult.

I love my friends. Who doesn’t? They’re the one who joins in to your cheesy laughter and the one who lend their shoulders to you when you’re cry your heart out due to a broken heart. They do those stuff even it makes them look stupid and in return, we also want to do it for them. The “comfort cycle” goes on and on. But what happens when you cry out too much and you feel that your friends don’t feel like it anymore?

Well, I broke down when I felt that sensation. I was also crying my heart out because the person whom I really care for doesn’t give a damn for my feelings even I laid it in front of him. It really hurt, you see. I ran to my friends’ arms and sought comfort but days passed, and I’m still not that certain of my console, I received cold shoulders and weird glances towards me. I shrugged it off, seeing that I might be mistaken. I waited and tried to persuade the little voice in my head that I’m just thinking too much and jumping into conclusions without any reason at all. Then, without any warning, I broke down all by my self, feeling all abandoned and stuff. I continued like that for days and nights, though I kept a blank façade to tell my self that I’m normal.

I thought that I’m fine but you see, friends actually know your moods. They can see through what you want to make them see and they also get affected, you know. The last thing I wanted that time was a confrontation but still, it did happen. I don’t really wanna face it. I just wanna break free from the reality but I just can’t, it was laid in front of me. I told them the truth but the tension didn’t fade away. But I just smiled weakly and told my self that everything’s gonna be fine soon.

We’re fine now, me and my friends. I just remembered this as a nightmare which was made to test my happiness over the past ten months. I don’t think about it that much these days because it will just ruin the renewed friendship we are rebuilding. I taught my self to keep it cool though I am really not in the hype. I just learned that when love bugs you, strive to think straight. If you don’t you’ll never know what’s gonna happen.

An Asian Adventure

Wow! I can't believe that it has been a long time ago since my last update for this blog but still, I do have lots of stories and experiences to tell as well.

Last March 13, my classmates and I created a Vietnamese and Singaporean exhibit for the yearly Asian festival heald in our school. I thought it cool and amazing to see my self and classmates wearing amazing costumes from countries I haven't heard much of. And also, along with the exhibit was the handicrafts, traditional cuisines, national costumes, traditional games and sports, ethnic music and dances as well.

Though we were not that informed with the said countries, still we managed to string things together and pull a cool exhibit that captivated many visitors (HONEST!). I really found it funny seeing my self in a cute costume and looking all Vietnamese as if I'm for real.

Honestly, I love wearing costumes. I can't stop my self from looking at my reflection for I really admire my adorable red ao dai, the traditional Vietnamese costume. Hahahaha!

But still, despite all the excitement and all, everyone from my class got really exhausted to continuously repeat our presentation/exhibit for like 7 times including talking about the same thing for each presentation, pose like a real maniquin, smile despite the climate which is really hot, and serve food to different types of students.

Anyway, I must say that this experience gave me a piece of Asia in a peculiar way! It makes me more excited on exploring the depths of the cultures of Asia :) I'm so proud to be a part of the Asian Community!

Drowning Moments

Blob. Blob. Blob.

With those words, you are probably thinking that I’m already nuts or whatever but unfortunately, I’m still sane. Sigh, the swimming lessons we had earlier must have rubbed me off badly. And my left calf is still aching after paddling and kicking in the water, in short, I am currently experiencing cramps. Poor me.

Anyway, after my underwater adventure in a 7 feet pool, I suddenly felt so weak, confused, sleepy, uncertain and heartbroken. My day became so boring and lonely and I still can’t understand why. I suppose it’s because of the chlorine inside my system or because of all these boring activities at school. Nah, who am I fooling? I know what’s going inside me and I can’t help but feel so broken.

I know what’s you’re thinking. You are probably thinking, ‘Oh it’s just another heartache about him’. I’m sorry to disappoint you but unfortunately, it’s not it.

I might be the very jolly and bubbly at school but when I’m just by my self in one side of my room, I don’t really know what to do with my self. Up to now, I still can’t figure out what am I supposed to do in order to be victorious in terms of my inner turmoil.

Of course I’m not the only one suffering from uncertainty and insecurity at my stage. But how can I not help but feel so stupid every time I realize that I have a problem in front of me? I mean, problems are supposed to be solved and not forgotten, right?

I know that I have every right to feel happy and relaxed at some extent but when this shadows of mine haunt me, I can feel that time stops ticking and I’m all alone facing my own weaknesses. Well, do these mishaps make me tumble down? Of course not! I thank problems for being present because all of this make me a lot stronger and emotionally fit in times of hardships. I’m not just plain babbling and babbling. I’m telling the truth mind you.

Whenever there are times we have to face problems, we don’t have to runaway. We have to stop, turn around and face the challenges we have tried to pass. Running away does not solve everything, it only makes things more difficult and more unbearable than it was supposed to be. Let’s be brave and face all what the obstacles laid in front of us. It’s not going to be easy, but I know we can all make through it.

See Ya When I See Ya! ;)

Frederick's Tale

I had a very adventurous and eventful day at school which i don't normal have. First, I have to deal with all these drama in front of the class which is really an important thing for our certain subject. I actually cried for my part which I thought would be difficult. I am still relieved that my classmates didn't actually tease me or anything the like because of that play-play thingy. I wanna hug them all!

Then after that, my brain was pretty shooked with our seatwork for our Mathematics class. The lesson was easy to understand but if you try to put it in different ways, urgghh, it's really confusing and brain-wracking.

After our lunchbreak, me and my other classmates went to our journalism class but unfortunately, our teacher has other important things to do at that period so indstead of classes, my friends and I went to the library where we chit-chatted while our other classmates are having their home education subject wherein their topic is sewing. I probably won't survive properly in that class. I had a great time relaxing at the library with all the silence and serenity in the atmosphere but unfortunately, when I returned to our classroom, I got a shock of my life. The thing is, our class adviser scolded me because my stupid 34 other classmates left our room OPEN. The doors are not closed, the sliding windows are open, the ceiling fans are left operating, anything, like it's a total wreck! I wasn't even there! I wanted to defend my self because SOMEBODY ELSE IS RESPONSIBLE for that irresposibility! But I didn't get a chance.. Arrggg! I want to rip someone's head off!

But after that stupid encounter with people who are so insensitive, I met Frederick. Well, it was during our Biology Laboratory class and I was feeling mixed emotions running through my veins. My female classmates are screaming or running of at the sight of Frederick and his friends. Probably because they're not really good looking or stuff but I think Frederick is okay.

Actually, Frederick is a frog, a bull frog to be specific. He's quite twitchy and wiggly that he won't stay put even after I have paralized him. Oh, did i mention that we were actually dissecting frogs earlier? No? well, anyway, I was really nervous as I pin Frederick upon the dissecting pan because he 's always kicking and wriggling whenever I try to stretch his hands and feet. Gosh, I must say that it took my courage and skill to pin him properly.

Our objective, actually, is to get the frog's heart from it's system and have it continuously beating. I have no problem with that but I have found my self nervous when it's already time for me to cut his arteries and veins and get his heart. I really pity Frederick for no reason at all. I sense his pain everytime I touch an organ in his body. Poor Frederick but I owe him my laboratory experiment grade because his heart was continuously beating in front of my teacher. Frederick, I really owe you a lot. Thank you.

So, when you guys dissect frogs for a cause like grades or requirements, at least try to give them a name as a sign of gratitude. Sigh...

See you when I see you! :)

Screwed Up

HOW CAN HE BE SO CRUEL? I SUPPOSE THERE ARE SO MANY THINGS THAT ARE BEST WHEN LEFT UNSAID...

Seen yet Blinded

I feel so weak today. Everything felt out of place. My mind is stirring, my view is blurred, i can't find my voice to speak yet I know my heart keeps on screaming out loud. How can my day seem to be cruel when all I want is to be seen by someone I want to see?

I'm so envious of my best friend and her nice, humorous, intelligent and understanding guy. They seem so perfect together. I know it's kinda hopeless yet i just keep on thinking 'bout him. I don't really care about what others might say. What matters to me is him.

But I know that i must not burn myself just because of him. My life must still go on despite all the temporary hardships and turmoils that I'm being taking on. I just want to release all these unsaid feelings because speaking it out to him makes me want to say that I want to hold him forever. I really want to but i can't and i may not.

He do glance at me sometimes yet it's not enough to quench the burning sensation of my heart. I want to be seen by him.

Yes, I'm not being myself today if you notice. This is the other part of my heart. The in love yet lonely, sad and broken part. I know that some of you might think that what I'm writing here today is foolish or too mushy. But i must say that this is me. There is nothing wrong with feeling.. instead, it brings the warmth and joy of a person in exchange of the risk of being hurt and broken. I've taken it all in. All because of him...

Ramblings on a puzzle

Ahh… what a wonderful day! I just got a dose of Naruto the Movie and it’s SOOO Fantastic!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I just can’t help but be on sugar high! Uhhh… please help me!

Anyway, back to normal, I had a plain yet sentimental day at school today. Seeing my grades slapped at my face, gazing at him from afar, classmates and batchmates passing by the corridors, teachers busy computing and checking our grades, people giving me weird looks, guys teasing me, teachers giving off instructions, girls giggling over guys, guys gossiping about girls, and of course, him just being himself… Sigh... When will he ever open up? And why does he not? Is he that dense not to notice me? Well, I think he already do know ‘bout me lovin’ him. And I believe, it’s freaking him out!!!

How do I know? Well, it’s not quite hard not to think that it’s possible. He is obviously a super genius guy so I believe that it would only take him one neuron to process the fact that I like him because of my “probably” weird actions towards him. No kidding. He’s a real dude and these past few days, he’s acting really weird. Why weird? Well, I can almost recite his schedule during school days and I also notice his usual actions during class hours. Is he my classmate? Nah, he’s not but how can I actually manage to see his routines? Well, I have my own ways and I’m not gonna share! J Anyway, here are some reasons why I can say that he’s already noticing my feelings for him:

He does not look at me in the eye anymore.
He does not sit on his usual place in that certain classroom anymore.
His best friend does not talk to me anymore.
He does not return my greetings anymore like before.
He does not smile at me anymore every time we see each other at the hallways.
He ignored me twice already.
He was quite weird at me (though he really is already weird enough) these past few days.
He does not even look at me or acknowledge me whenever we meet. (He did acknowledge me yesterday but still…)
His best friend does not tease me anymore and I miss it already.
And lastly, he barely make me see him.

Sigh… poor me. But anyway, I still know that I will survive because I still believe that I’ll keep him close to my heart. He’s the only happiness underneath all the stuff happening at school that makes me loose my head upon numbers… Till next time!

See ya when I see ya! – Hime Yume

Constanly - Nina

Twirling Kaleidoscope

There are so many things that have passed my every day that is quite essential for me in order to be able to say that my day is already satisfactory. As for today, it had been a very eventful day for me, filled with so many predicaments but there are still some events that have been quite unexpected yet left warmth in my heart.

Love is the one I’m referring to when I said warmth in my heart. Yes, of course, I’m also human. I also feel those emotions that you could describe as very mushy or disgusting. Well, I also have a certain person who made my heart flutter every time I see him and at the same time, break my heart into pieces every time I remember that I can never have him. It’s sad but the moment he told me earlier that he appreciates my gift for him this Christmas with all those smiles he gives out unusually, I couldn’t help but melt inside. Sigh. If only…

Anyway, I just find it depressing when I found out that I got pretty low grades. Yeah. The last time I wrote that I got low grades yet now, I’m still groaning about it. Yes, I’m quite disappointed with my self because I got low grades in my minor subjects which are also known as electives. Well, I keep telling my self to be excellent in these fields because they can help a lot in order for me to maintain my standards yet with all these stupid efforts, I still got low grades… sigh. If only I could turn back time.

Well, there was a heart-breaking news that my class had heard from one of our most-loved teachers. My favorite subject, Social Studies, with our lovable instructor is going to be my most loathed subject if the news would be confirmed. Wanna know why? It’s because, our teacher is going to be replaced by some loony pervert of a monster (I’m referring to the other Social Studies teacher of our level)!!! I’m not lying but the other teacher is a total PERVERT and he’s got favoritism, meaning if you’re a boy, ha, you lose! Gosh, I love my Social Studies teacher because he’s really the best of the best! I can’t have him being replaced yet what can I do? Well, as for my part, I wanted to make the most out of my favorite subject so whenever there are instances that I would need his assistance in relation to our subject because the substitute teacher is being stupid and useless, I wouldn’t hesitate in doing so.

So for now, I’ll stick to my usual happy sugar high stage and feel the warmth that reigns in my heart for I know that these challenges that I’m whining about today is going to be different tomorrow.
TTFN!

See ya When I See ya! - Hime Yume

New year, new frustrations

Hello everyone! It’s been a long time since I last updated this blog of mine. Well, before everything else, I want to greet all of you a Happy New Year!

School’s up again and I’m sort of baffled for some of our tests grades were shown to us already and I did get the shock of my life for I got pretty low grades in some of my major subjects. I know I did pass the line but it wasn’t enough for me. Basically, a part of me is still having a hard time keeping up with my supposed to be daily routine during school days is because I almost spent my holidays either in front of my computer and television or hanging out at near by centers.

Well, I know that it’s kinda hard to strive for something that we want to have. Like for my grades, my other classmen would just react as if I’m bragging but really, it’s depressing not to get what you really want for satisfaction. Honestly, i've never been this depressed for my grades ever since but i can't help it. Probably because of monsters in my head or my anime fantasies these holidays...

I admit that these Christmas vacation, I got the freedom to be lazy and watch programs all the time or surf the internet all day long but probably, after those leisure time, I still came back to my reality where people strive to be on top and just feel pressure.

In spite of all these little difficulties that I’m sure we’ve all been to, I still believe that being in high school is a time of our lives and we have to enjoy every bits of it coz in time, these parts of our lives will be the ones we wanted to remember from our little past.

See ya when I see ya!

Hime Yume

PS.

Are there any Japanese speaking people around Blogger.com who is/are willing to kinda teach me some basics? Well, I really need help when it comes to my communication skills involving this language. It's quite a requirement for me to learn something out of this language before I step to Junior high next year... sigh... Any help would be really apprecieated! :) I just can't attend classes because school hours is long