I feel so weak today. Everything felt out of place. My mind is stirring, my view is blurred, i can't find my voice to speak yet I know my heart keeps on screaming out loud. How can my day seem to be cruel when all I want is to be seen by someone I want to see?
I'm so envious of my best friend and her nice, humorous, intelligent and understanding guy. They seem so perfect together. I know it's kinda hopeless yet i just keep on thinking 'bout him. I don't really care about what others might say. What matters to me is him.
But I know that i must not burn myself just because of him. My life must still go on despite all the temporary hardships and turmoils that I'm being taking on. I just want to release all these unsaid feelings because speaking it out to him makes me want to say that I want to hold him forever. I really want to but i can't and i may not.
He do glance at me sometimes yet it's not enough to quench the burning sensation of my heart. I want to be seen by him.
Yes, I'm not being myself today if you notice. This is the other part of my heart. The in love yet lonely, sad and broken part. I know that some of you might think that what I'm writing here today is foolish or too mushy. But i must say that this is me. There is nothing wrong with feeling.. instead, it brings the warmth and joy of a person in exchange of the risk of being hurt and broken. I've taken it all in. All because of him...
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