Raining

When things go wrong, the first thing I ask my self is "Why?".

For some reason, I find solace in the possibility of figuring out what went wrong or if I can still do something to make things better (if not right). And I'm sure that its not just me.

Everybody's searching for answers and possibilities for different reasons.

I had been asking my self questions for quite some time now and I don't seem to find any answer. Yes, it helps ease the burden as I acknowledge the fact that I am indeed confused, scared and uncertain about certain things right. But still, the need for answers lingers. In the mean time, I can just bury thoughts and think of other things but no matter how I try, trivial things can't erase the unpleasant feelings.

In the end, I still remember.

The most difficult circumstances are the ones that involve other people. For me, it is very difficult not to consider the feelings of the people involved in the situation. I don't know, it's the way my mind and heart operates. My movements are limited because I don't want to rub in the hurt or pain people are feeling. And in order to do that, they ask for time.

I just can't say no.

As people often ask for time (meaning I have to keep my distance for awhile), I just agree even if saying yes simply breaks my heart. It hurts for I fear that they'll forget the reason thus, including the answers I'm looking for.

For now, I give you the time you're aasking for. But I need your assurance that when you have finally got a better grasp of things, you won't forget the answers I am waiting for.

Until then, I'll be here. Waiting