The First Lines After a Year

April 2, 2009 was a sad, sad day.

For sometime, one person was the object of my affections. I tried to deny my feelings for I know he has eyes for another. But after a while, my heart started to feel so much pain and cried so hard because I know that I'll always be the girl friend and not the girlfriend.

It was difficult. So I scribbled out lines without much thought.

(I typed the succeeding lines in accordance to how I wrote them on the white sheet of paper)

The first lines After A year

I want to hold you tight

When no one else might

With the burden you carry

I don't want you to be sorry

For letting me catch you

Because I will always do.

I want to kiss you lightly

To lend you sweetness even slightly

Might you be thinking of another

At least I know I'm your shelter

Through all the silence of your fears

I'll never leave for I always hear

Your heart's beating as if

It's mine like a gift.

I want you to be happy

By painting a smile even if it's sappy

For you always make my day

With everything you say

May it be about her

At least we relieved it together.

Even though I hurt so much

As long as it is a moment with you

I'll always live through.

I want to love you forever

The way you unknowingly love her

For even if you say you don't

Your eyes say that it's all you want.

My heart cries just by such idea

'Coz I want to be the one with you.

If you would turn around

I'm sure you'll see me bound

To you like water is to life

So I won't give you up without a fight.

But should I fight if there's no

Certain way to go

Towards the road leading to your heart?

I am not sure where to start.

- IaMarie

April 2, 2009

I never intended to write so much about you, my new-found star, but I just couldn't help it. Instead of crying, I just let the words flow in case you want to know.

I think I like you more than I think I do.

---

I do not hurt so much compared to before. But I was reminded of how difficult and painful it was when I found the crumpled sheet of paper with those words.

Now I'm sad.

This one's for you. You should know who you are.

We both know how I feel. You just chose to ignore it.

I've been so good at hiding it now so maybe you think that it's done.

You thought wrong.

I'm sorry. You trusted me so much.

But know this. I did not lie to you.

Don't worry, I'll get over you. Hopefully soon.

So that you won't have to be burdened so much of my affections.

We are still friends, right?