Silent Nights

I guess I owe you guys a ‘Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year’ greeting, right?

Unlike the previous years, I had a very quiet celebration of the season. Though I usually am smiling around other people, I really am dying inside. You see, I spent most of my nights crying and pondering on my mistakes and the other things I need to do in order to get over my circumstances.

I should not have spent my Christmas like that. I know but I can’t help it. Though I don’t want to cry, I just find the tears continuously falling. Sigh. This is so not a good sign for my upcoming year.

Anyhow, I decided to get rid of my ridiculous self and just let everything loose. I started off with cutting my hair shorter, pampering my self more by being more girly and stopped being a desperate, weight-watching buff. The only problem I’m kind of facing right now is that I’m experiencing a mild pimple breakout and it’s not amusing! I regret spending my nights by crying. I’m so stupid! Hahahaha!

Well, I’m still happy because I was able to “virtually” avoid the source of my ache. Swallowing the pain has some advantage, I must say but -- I DO NOT advice it. It’s almost committing suicide minus the knife and physical injuries. You see your mistakes, you see his. You hurt so much inside, he doesn’t seem to be affected. You fake a smile, he doesn’t even notice. You hide the pain you feel, he could care less. You want to forget, memories of him make you fail. Despite all the tormenting feeling, we normally just let it all sink in just because we L-O-V-E this person.

I guess you get the picture of my holidays. I advice you not to do this because it causes huge eye bags, pimple breakouts, heavy feeling and depressed eating tendencies. Don’t say I didn’t warn you! :)

Hopefully, I’ll be back to bubbles and candies the next time I post! I wish you all a “blastful” year ahead!

See you when I see you!